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McMouse

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McMouse

Beware

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
17:04 Mon 30th Mar 20091 answer, last by lindylou16 17:21 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

My wife told me this!

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
17:00 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

I tried this on Travel, but it hasn't gone far

Have you ever sat on a plane, next to an irritating seat-mate who keeps talking to you and snooping at everything you read? Next time, just follow these simple instructions: And get ready to enjoy...
16:25 Mon 30th Mar 20099 answers, last by bimbim 18:59 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Travel tip

Have you ever sat on a plane, next to an irritating seat-mate who keeps talking to you and snooping at everything you read? Next time, just follow these simple instructions: And get ready to enjoy...
16:12 Mon 30th Mar 20098 answers, last by Nannyjill 21:45 Tue 31st Mar 2009
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McMouse

Only ABers will know

If I bought a teddy bear for a tenner and called it Mohammad, then sold it for twenty quid, I wonder.............would I have made a prophet?
16:01 Mon 30th Mar 200912 answers, last by legendis.god 17:41 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed. "What's a big brass gong doing...
15:35 Mon 30th Mar 20094 answers, last by marval 18:22 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Outsourcing

I was depressed last night so I called Samaritans. Got a call centre in Pakistan I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
15:20 Mon 30th Mar 200910 answers, last by ParkChoi 16:16 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Does anyone get this?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.... The chicken is smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face, and the egg is frowning and looking put out.... The egg mutters to no one in...
13:29 Mon 30th Mar 200917 answers, last by carrust 14:16 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

US Bank

Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. You are requested to use the procedures outlined below when...
13:22 Mon 30th Mar 20094 answers, last by terambulan 13:44 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

From the British Newspapers

(1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has...
18:57 Sun 29th Mar 20094 answers, last by bensmum 19:44 Sun 29th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Bridal Expectations

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin". "What?" said the puzzled...
13:49 Sun 29th Mar 20093 answers, last by carlton23 11:06 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Paying the Rent

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for ?500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have...
13:32 Sun 29th Mar 20092 answers, last by carlton23 11:09 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Hope this works for you all

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner...
13:17 Sun 29th Mar 20094 answers, last by pastafreak 14:05 Sun 29th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Women Drivers

This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new BMW Doing 75Mph With her face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner. I looked away For a...
18:33 Sat 28th Mar 20092 answers, last by ummmm 11:16 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

A Visit to the Doctor

As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees, which nowadays seems to have more and more women as our physicians and therapists, etc and in this case a new...
17:30 Sat 28th Mar 20092 answers, last by McMouse 17:39 Sat 28th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Another Liverpool Classic

A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids... 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours? 'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that...
12:46 Sat 28th Mar 20095 answers, last by carlton23 11:21 Mon 30th Mar 2009
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McMouse

If Aer Lingus and Nigerian Airways merge

will they be renamed Cooonielingus?
14:57 Fri 27th Mar 20092 answers, last by lindylou16 20:18 Fri 27th Mar 2009
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McMouse

London 2012 Logo http://www.london2012.com/

Is it just me, or does anyone else think the 2012 logo depicts a couple of shirt-lifters?
17:09 Wed 25th Mar 20099 answers, last by KingChain 17:58 Wed 25th Mar 2009
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McMouse

A lunatic escapes

from the bin and goes to a laundry where he rapes one of the workers and then runs away. Headline in paper: Nut Screws Washer & Bolts.
16:27 Wed 25th Mar 20096 answers, last by KingChain 19:44 Wed 25th Mar 2009
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McMouse

Time signal

If you have fm BBC4 and hear the "Pips", and in another room you have satellite BBC 4, the "Pips" on each system are slightly out of sync with each other. I understand the satellite signal has further...
15:40 Wed 25th Mar 20094 answers, last by magicmerlin 22:17 Sat 09th May 2009

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