Donate SIGN UP

McMouse

1361 to 1380 of 1489

First Previous 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 Next Last

Avatar Image
McMouse

One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.

When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm...
16:21 Wed 08th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 20:45 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

I dream about West Indian Women.

Or is this just a pigment of my imagination?
15:49 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

A bloke is driving along when he notices a hitch-hiker.

The hitch-hiker has three eyes, no arms and only one leg. The driver stops the car and says "Eye, eye, eye! You look armless. Hop in"
12:55 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 13:34 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Caesar and Brutus are having a pint.

Before he goes to get another round in Brutus reminds Caesar not to touch his dry roasted peanuts. When he gets back to their table Brutus notices that Caesar is chewing. Brutus is enraged and stabs...
12:51 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by nightmare 13:48 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Two Pirate Captains meet up.

One says to the other "Where's your Buccaneers?" He replies "either side of my bucking head"
11:54 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by squarebear 15:59 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

A Nun goes into a Darts Club

She enters a competition and with her first dart hits treble 20. With her second dart she gets a single 20. With great concentration she aims for the double 20 but the dart hits the wire, rebounds and...
11:51 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 12:40 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Where does Arnold Schwarzenegger do his shopping?

At ASDA with Visa baby.
11:43 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by BilluSugger 12:24 Wed 08th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Look you

http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=ZDAM5lSPCwk& feature=related
12:09 Mon 06th Apr 20094 answers, last by no-knowledge 13:10 Mon 06th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Summary of the banking situation in Japan

Uncertainty has now hit the Japanese banking sector. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded. Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it...
16:05 Sun 05th Apr 20092 answers, last by DEN53 18:25 Mon 06th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Just came across this

http://www.52best.com/ballet.asp
15:53 Sun 05th Apr 20092 answers, last by no-knowledge 16:03 Sun 05th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

How many queers can you grab by the ears

In an English country garden?
01:11 Sun 05th Apr 200922 answers, last by crisgal 01:41 Sun 05th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

OK, I will top myself

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one...
14:15 Sat 04th Apr 20095 answers, last by McMouse 00:40 Sun 05th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Just before I go for a midday pint

Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made watch cases, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so...
14:12 Sat 04th Apr 20093 answers, last by no-knowledge 14:27 Sat 04th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

This is really bad for a Saturday

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out...
14:08 Sat 04th Apr 20094 answers, last by notafish 19:38 Mon 06th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Have you heard of

aural sex?
18:56 Fri 03rd Apr 20093 answers, last by karatant 22:42 Sun 05th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

My merkin's gone missing

where is it hiding?
18:42 Fri 03rd Apr 20093 answers, last by Kim A 18:45 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

I really must get out more!

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of...
17:37 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 23:06 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

And a close runner-up

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I...
17:33 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 23:05 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

I claim today's worst pun

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world....
17:31 Fri 03rd Apr 20092 answers, last by chrisrob 18:02 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
McMouse

Don't ya love call centres

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am...
17:22 Fri 03rd Apr 200911 answers, last by emilpj007 11:26 Wed 18th Nov 2015

1361 to 1380 of 1489

First Previous 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 Next Last