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McMouse
Council has introduced a new re-cycling regime with 5 difference bins. I've just about fathomed out what does where, but not without casualties. 1. Turned ankle stamping on beer cans which have to be...
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McMouse
I tried a dozen oysters last year. They were useless, only five worked.
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McMouse
I know a politician whose name is Jim, I really love throwing tomatoes at him, Tomatoes are soft and don't hurt the skin, But these f***ers do, 'cos they're still in the tin...
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McMouse
Was quite a surprise.
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McMouse
Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake and some hot sex. He engages a lovely prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon...
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McMouse
Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to...
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McMouse
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man...
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McMouse
I was at my bank today and there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for pounds. It was obvious she was very irritated . . . She...
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McMouse
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" ”Maria: “Well,...
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McMouse
Mrs McM just uttered the fateful words "I agree with you"...
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McMouse
A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit,...
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McMouse
Had a pacemaker implanted in December and the aftercare has been superb. Been assessed for a personalised rehab program which starts next week. Whole process has given me a new lease of life.
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McMouse
Paddy texts his wife... “Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”...
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McMouse
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old....
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McMouse
IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAILS CONCERNING MY DOG... Please be advised I am sick and tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled six illegal immigrants wearing Labour tee shirts, four thieving...
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McMouse
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never...
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McMouse
A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asks a girl, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replies with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"...
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McMouse
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an...
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McMouse
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of...
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McMouse
Son and heir visited from USA andy in effort to save him car rental costs put him on insurance so he could drive my car. Despite telling him not to put in any fuel he managed to top up the diesel tank...

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