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McMouse
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the...
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McMouse
A Jewish man and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a long open mouthed kiss and says to him,...
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McMouse
I support forces charities and always attend the local Remembrance Sunday parade. However, I just can't get my head round all this commemoration of the start of such a dreadful war.
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McMouse
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, " Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? " The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese...
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McMouse
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Roy? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise...
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McMouse
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road...
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McMouse
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" The husband asks, ''What happened?" His wife replies,...
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McMouse
I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish." "Fine," I said, "then I want to...
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McMouse
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!" So,...
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McMouse
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were...
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McMouse
Husband walks into bedroom stark naked. Wife says "What its that white powder on your penis?" He replies "It's aspirin for your headache. Do you want it orally or as a suppository?"...
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McMouse
When I was young I decided to go to Medical School. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect....
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McMouse
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather. Rather than offend a...
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McMouse
A lawyer boarded a Jetstar flight in Perth, with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator....
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McMouse
Dear Benefits Office Manager My name is Mohammed Reza and I live in Birmingham , and I would like to present before you the following story. Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an...
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McMouse
A rural couple had made sacrifices to save money to send their only son to college. Once there, he began to let his hair grow long, plus sideburns, a mustache, and a goatee. When his hair was...
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McMouse
Hung Chow calls his work and says "Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok". The boss says "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you...
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McMouse
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father...
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McMouse
A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door...
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McMouse
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well....

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