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McMouse
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father...
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McMouse
A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door...
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McMouse
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well....
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McMouse
with Marmite soldiers and celery salt. My perfect start to the day. What's yours?
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McMouse
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot...
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McMouse
Council has introduced a new re-cycling regime with 5 difference bins. I've just about fathomed out what does where, but not without casualties. 1. Turned ankle stamping on beer cans which have to be...
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McMouse
I tried a dozen oysters last year. They were useless, only five worked.
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McMouse
I know a politician whose name is Jim, I really love throwing tomatoes at him, Tomatoes are soft and don't hurt the skin, But these f***ers do, 'cos they're still in the tin...
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McMouse
Was quite a surprise.
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McMouse
Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake and some hot sex. He engages a lovely prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon...
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McMouse
Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to...
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McMouse
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man...
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McMouse
I was at my bank today and there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for pounds. It was obvious she was very irritated . . . She...
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McMouse
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" ”Maria: “Well,...
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McMouse
Mrs McM just uttered the fateful words "I agree with you"...
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McMouse
A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit,...
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McMouse
Had a pacemaker implanted in December and the aftercare has been superb. Been assessed for a personalised rehab program which starts next week. Whole process has given me a new lease of life.
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McMouse
Paddy texts his wife... “Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”...
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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old....
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McMouse
IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAILS CONCERNING MY DOG... Please be advised I am sick and tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled six illegal immigrants wearing Labour tee shirts, four thieving...

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