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McMouse
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man...
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McMouse
I was at my bank today and there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for pounds. It was obvious she was very irritated . . . She...
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McMouse
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" ”Maria: “Well,...
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McMouse
Mrs McM just uttered the fateful words "I agree with you"...
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McMouse
A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit,...
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McMouse
Had a pacemaker implanted in December and the aftercare has been superb. Been assessed for a personalised rehab program which starts next week. Whole process has given me a new lease of life.
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McMouse
Paddy texts his wife... “Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”...
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McMouse
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old....
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McMouse
IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAILS CONCERNING MY DOG... Please be advised I am sick and tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled six illegal immigrants wearing Labour tee shirts, four thieving...
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McMouse
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never...
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McMouse
A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asks a girl, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replies with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"...
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McMouse
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an...
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McMouse
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of...
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McMouse
Son and heir visited from USA andy in effort to save him car rental costs put him on insurance so he could drive my car. Despite telling him not to put in any fuel he managed to top up the diesel tank...
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McMouse
Blue light taxi to A&E 10 days ago and now back home. Having a pacemaker fitted on Saturday which should keep the GR at bay for a while....
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McMouse
Planning to go toCanary Isles for a week in November. Never been there before, any suggestions? Must have good restaurants, not bothered about beach....
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McMouse
Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Chester when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside. The biker...
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McMouse
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss...
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McMouse
Going to Brighton next week, any recommendations for good crab and lobster? Tia.
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Had a pleasant pub lunch yesterday and overheard a mother say to her child "don't eat those beans (butter beans) you won't like them". No wonder kids grow up eating junk food....

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