LochNessMonster
Always loved this one below, pity they can't show it these days.
http://youtu.be/dYPGyhOzdsI...
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LochNessMonster
Did you hear about the midget, who for a laugh walk between the tall blonde models legs?
He ended up with a fair crack in the mouth....
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LochNessMonster
Had an interesting chat with one of their reps in Morrisons. Tried to con me into switching to them from Scottish Power. 1. They take your details and fill out a small form with you average units etc,...
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LochNessMonster
Why can't some people leave shopping trolleys in the supermarket ? See someone walk with one 2 mile from the store yesterday. It had 3 bags in it and the wheel had locked when they had left the store....
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LochNessMonster
Music is mine.
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LochNessMonster
The wife looked up from her football coupon and asked, "What do you think will be the biggest draws this week, love?" Seeing as I was looking out of the window at the time, watching her knickers...
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LochNessMonster
Government cut backs have seen a blind fellow having to join the RAF as a parachutist? When asked how he would know when to bend his knees on landing he replied the dog lead will become slack.
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LochNessMonster
Google play can you pay for apps on my laptop and still have them sent to my new android mobile. Also have set my local weather on screen when does this app deduce my web allowance. Sorry I'm new to...
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LochNessMonster
And how many are you expecting to get for Easter....
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LochNessMonster
Oscar Pistorius has announced he would like to compete in the World championship in Moscow after getting bail. However athletes will be pleased to hear that he will be put in lane 8 in every heat as...
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LochNessMonster
Sometimes when I go to shops I've teased the assistant like below. Have you ? Matalan - "Would sir like to keep the clothes hanger" - "Is it cheaper if I don't take them ?" Clarkes shoes - "My feet...
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LochNessMonster
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. It walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be served. A fellow who was already in the butcher...
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LochNessMonster
Mrs Nessie Birthday today, can't tell you her age but it starts with a 4 and ends in a 9,
Your right ! 4,555,329 years old.
Away to nurse my injuries ?
Nessie :- (...
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LochNessMonster
Sometimes Mom in passing Would pat you on the back And sometimes in passing She'd show you the right track. Sometimes Mom in passing Would say, "You sure look nice!" And sometimes in passing She...
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LochNessMonster
Flowers, Chocolates, Muzzle or go out for a meal. :)
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LochNessMonster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X9D9ZAFHWg&feature=share&list=PLAE17AE6B861B7DE5...
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LochNessMonster
Learned this week that male Panda in Edinburgh Zoo does handstands to piddle high as a sign of courtship to its mate.
Do any of you have a strange habit like this ?
Nessie :- )...
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LochNessMonster
True story last Friday I was on local bus when Polish women I know came on and asked to go to the free bank. Driver looked confused said there was no such place in the town she was going to. She paid...
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LochNessMonster
Viewed this on youtube, will have you in laughing out loud.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwe8zAPb4…
Post it in browser if link does not work....
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LochNessMonster
An Englishman, a Italian and a Scotsman were in a boat together in Loch Ness. When I made a surpise visit ? The Frenchman jumped out the boat and I eat him, the same with the Italian. The Scotsman...
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