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Garaman

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Patsy33
In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. He was a vegan and refused to touch me" -...
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Patsy33
I’m always getting run over by the same bike, same day every month, same place, month after month... It's a seriously vicious cycle....
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Voltage
I brought some cocaine from Limerick, but I was annoyed that the third and fourth lines were shorter than the others.
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Voltage
What have a push-up bra and a bag of crisps got in common? Once you open it, you realise it's half-empty....
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Patsy33
"Doctor, please hurry. My husband swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."...
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Patsy33
As I was laying in my bed last night, looking up at the lovely bright full moon and stars, I suddenly thought to myself, "Where the hell has my roof gone?!"...
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Shaglene
A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings. She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens. She is speaking in a cheery voice, "Hi, I'm so glad you called. Really?...
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sandmaster
We are modernising our house. Friends tell me modern radiators give out more heat than the old pressed steel radiators from the 70s that we have. I wonder what the experiences of fellow Answerbank...
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vetuste_ennemi
CNN's courageous (i.e. totally conventional) reporter Christiane Amanpour (didn't you love her on Brexit night?) discussing a real woman. Fans of the Listener will know Ms Lamarr because she was a...
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Spicerack
A bit of light hearted news for you. https://theworldnews.net/gb-news/labour-is-calling-for-a-tax-on-self-service-checkouts-for-robbing-till-workers-of-their-jobs (or does anyone agree with them?)...
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Patsy33
I’m looking for some good fish jokes. - If you know any, let minnow.....
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Chipchopper
This morning, I had to overtake a lorry and wave him down. I shouted to him "you're losing your load mate! He wasn't happy and shouted back "I'm gritting, you idiot!!...
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sunny-dave
https://tinyurl.com/y8z63pk7...
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Chipchopper
Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
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spathiphyllum
If anyone else makes a bad joke about 'tossing' on Pancake Day, I will batter them.
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Patsy33
My mate is so selfish. Everything is "Mine, Mine,Mine" Honestly, its the pits!.......
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vernonk
When you buy trainers, is it okay if they feel tight when you try them on - will they give with time? Or if they start tight will they stay tight, and is a best to buy a size bigger?
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Patsy33
So Grandad walked into the room with his tackle out, smothered in boot polish, bless him, he mis-heard when we told him to turn his clock back....
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Patsy33
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell. I just can’t put my finger on it....
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Berniecuddles2
my friend died in hospital last week cos we couldn't remember his blood type..."be positive"...."be positive" he kept saying,but its hard without him...

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