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bobtheturkey

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bobtheturkey
But the moment has passed like a truffle making its way through bacon my pot bellied pigs digestive system 
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bobtheturkey
A neighbour of mine Phyllis McCrackin invited me round to hers earlier for a fish finger sandwich, she then insisted I take a look at a mole on the small of her back believing that because I once... ...
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bobtheturkey
I am a former semi finalist in the dingle peninsula pot noodle eating competition and I have 2 pet pot bellied pigs called bacon and sandwich, nice to be here 
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bobtheturkey
The developing story has reminded me of how I once used a pair of y fronts as a makeshift fan belt to allow Thora Hird to get home in her Austin Allergo, I may or not have accepted payment from the...
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bobtheturkey
Hi I'm new here Whilst cutting my toe nails this morning a particularly large lump of nail flew out my bathroom window and landed in my neighbours cup of tea she was drinking outside On drinking a...
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bobtheturkey
By the skin on my giblets...
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bobtheturkey
I used to be on here night and day 20 years ago made friends and a couple of enemies (rip Whiffey I always admired you secretly) I only pop on occasionally now to type nonsense but I still observe...
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bobtheturkey
This is a question the ancients have pondered for many years... If an orange b&q bucket falls from a shelf in an empty b&q store in Dudley at 3am does it make a noise?...
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bobtheturkey
Whilst closing the slightly stained net curtains in my caravan tonight I noticed a humanoid figure seemingly made up of orange b&q buckets in the field opposite I hope this is a scarecrow created by...
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bobtheturkey
Where do I stand on this.. Mrs Rustbottom one of my neighbours has complained that she can see me playing with my tin whistle at night through her window and this is causing her angina to play up, I...
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bobtheturkey
I decided to do some sunbathing today in my garden and the only shorts I could find were a pair of 1970s style tennis shorts that were probably a few sizes too small Later on in the day I found a note...
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bobtheturkey
Apologies to those eating but if one has a particulary nasty epsiode of gastroenteritis and both ends are causing a problem at exactly the same time what is one to do?...
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bobtheturkey
Tense moment at the bingo at fannystown gospel Hall, winner gets a ten pounds voucher for b&q and a copy of thora hirds autobiography Will endeavour to keep you all appraised...
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bobtheturkey
On this date 10 years ago I won the Ballybunion invitational creative art championship when I constructed a wicker man type figure from b&q buckets and borrowed wheelie bins, it was an emotional time...
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bobtheturkey
I'm hoping to get my children's novel published soon about an orange b&q bucket that lives on the island of nantucket The problem is I need to retrieve an earlier draft from my wheelie bin but edna...
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bobtheturkey
Would you rather fight a 7 foot earwig with a spatula or a cheese grater?...
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bobtheturkey
Difficulty sleeping tonight as Beatrice from number 42 is applying haemorrhoid cream in her garden while she waits on Archibald her pet pot bellied pig to do his business, the noise is quite...
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bobtheturkey
You both mentioned I was being chased on here can you supply me with details? If they have they have their own teeth and look like Thora Hird (in her prime not as she looks now) then I might need to...
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bobtheturkey
Have you any hobbies? I collect the little balls that are inside spray paint tins and store them in orange & q buckets which I also collect I once made a necklace from said balls before my first date...
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bobtheturkey
As a consequence I am a little nervous Earlier tonight I went out to my bin to push down some cardboard (packaging from the complete collection of the Thora Hird era of songs of praise dvds) clad only...

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