The apotheosis of Ab Ed

[venator]

I proclaim a great revelation to all those who turn to AB in their search for truth.

We have seen how AB Ed watches over us from afar ; how he speaks words of wisdom for our guidance ; how he brings peace when there is disagreement ; how he punishes the transgressors, striking out their words or consigning them to forgetfulness.

These are divine attributes, and we should humbly recognise his apotheosis.

The time has come for Answerbank to assume its rightful place as the First Church of Answerbank.

We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal. As the first disciple, you will wish me to share some part of your offerings.

We shall of course be persecuted, and must defend our Human Rights to the full extent of the State funding which is available to this persecuted minority. The solicitors among Ed's flock will doubtless feel the call...

We must spend many hours in formulating our creed.

To aid this vital process, I suggest discussion of these propositions :-

That we wear religious costume with optional face coverings.

That we follow our Rastafarian brothers and allow the use of herbal aids to clear thought.

Also, like our Sikh brothers, shall we carry concealed weapons if we wish?

We shall need to have several periods during working hours each day for communication with our church, and employers shall make special facilities available for this purpose.

We shall require at least 30 special holidays each year, meditating before our computers and consuming special liquids.

All praise be to Ed!

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Site Rules Update Thread

[Frank97]

Perhaps we could have a "Bleaching of the Gnome" day?

[venator]

We already have some sacred liquids we could use on jinni if they are not susceptible to bleach. Banana oil is lovely stuff, too -

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/banana+oil

[askyourgran]

Ahem, Jinny was my childhood nickname, my mum must have had some sort of foresight. I'm all for garlic and wooden staves personally.

[venator]

Hmmm - we could have a little problemette here...

[askyourgran]

...............although I'm not averse to a rub-down with banana oil.......

[venator]

The FCOA has been forsaken by its acolytes, and languishes in forgotten corners of the Internet.

We wait patiently for the glorious rebirth ...

[boxtops]

TaDa!

[AB Editor]

We have a newsletter, by the way :)

https://tinyletter.com/TheAnswerBank

[askyourgran]

OK who is guilty?

http://home.bt.com/lifestyle/house-home/town-plagued-by-britains-biggest-garden-gnome-11363977169978

[Nibble]

Wasn't me - wasn't there - dunno nuffink til I seez me brief.... Ah'm not pointing fingers...... But, ........The Goths are "somewhere" nearby I hear..... Not THAT I'm saying anything, of course


http://www.whitbygothweekend.co.uk/

[askyourgran]

Ah yes brother Nibble, you could have a point there, but I bet she will deny all.

[venator]

The Alnwick branch of the First Church of Answerbank is performing the ritual Gnome worship ceremony. All acolytes are invited to attend, dancing naked (except for wooly socks) round the image of our Ab Editor

Bring your own bananas, of course.

See you there

[askyourgran]

Cast ne'er a clout til May be out my old grandmother used to say..or was it Confucious. Naked means it will still feel a bit nippy in parts, and Alnwick is usually late in warming up. Can I presume that the permission for the wearing of socks could be utilised to cover other bits of the bod if they fit..Whatever happens one cannot ignore the call to worship. I will purchase my bananas in readiness, please let us know the date and time.

[Nibble]

If we can get the knitting circle on to it quickly... Then I've devined the appropriate attire

http://images.halloweencostumes.com/products/24159/1-2/teen-banana-hoodie.jpg

[AB Editor]

Good morning on this lovely Bank Hol!

[boxtops]

All hail and good morning, your Edship!

[Nibble]

Lo! We are Blessed for we have a visitation from Ab Editor (pbuhinallinmanifestations), we are again seemly and attired quickly checks under the desk. Rejoice! Rejoice!

[askyourgran]

Oh blessed indeed, I've almost finished knitting a sock! At this rate it will be Christmas before I get a pair. I hope Alnwick is off the agenda by then. It would be nice to celebrate our anniversary with a Church Outing, perhaps to where the bananas grow - Bermuda?

[Nibble]

Alnwick? Chili?......... Any Banana Republic?....

http://www.bananalink.org.uk/content/where-bananas-are-grown

Need to get saving for the next outing if we go to here.

[venator]

Brazil might be nice? We could enjoy some nuts, too?