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Scottish Jokes For Burns Night

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joggerjayne | 21:47 Sun 18th Jan 2015 | Jokes
50 Answers
I'm after a few Scottish jokes for Burns Night. So far I've got ...

Where would a Scotsman store his music?
On his Och Aye Pod.

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Jogger Jayne thinks that she is a truly patriotic Scot. She burns supper every night.
21:52 Sun 18th Jan 2015
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Aww, come on sam ... that had to come out of a cracker!

(I kind of like it, though)
:(
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Where would we be without corny jokes.
I won't show this thread to His Nibs, Burns' Night is a serious matter :-)
After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.

"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.

"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,"
a Slappy Aberdonian man is stopped by the police because he is driving erratically.

To verify how much he has drunk a blood sample is drawn by a police doctor.

The laboratory report reads: 'The sample you have sent in is of a very good Speyside whisky. The traces of blood we found we can not explain.'
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Boxy, we ARE taking Burns Night seriously.

We are going to a Burns Ball, AND having a Burns Lunch.

We are practically honorary Scots down here!

:0)
Hamish says to Jeanie. " Put your hand up ma kilt " Jeanie does and says " Och ! Hamish it's gruesome ". Hamish replies, " I lassie put your hand up again and It'll have gruesome more".
lol
Lovely old spinster Flora went to her local butcher on 24th Jan.
"Hello, Sandy! Have you by any chance got a wee haggis I could have?"
"Oh Flora, I'm sorry. I've sold every last one. You really should have ordered one and I'd have been happy to keep it for you."
"That's a real shame Sandy. You see I'm on my own tonight and I was just fancying the haggis, neaps and tatties - and of course, a wee dram - so I could, ye ken, have a night in "wi' Rabbie"!
"Oh I really am sorry, Flora. But I tell you what, I've got a nice black pudding here. Take it - and have a night in wi' Paul Robeson."

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