"i'm Not Mad", She Said To Me...

[sandyRoe]

...when I suggested that she'd hidden her purse again and forgotten where it was, after she said she couldn't find it.
She thinks too that I've given a key to a woman who comes in when we're out and steals her things, and hides soiled underwear under her mattress.
What to do?

[Bathsheba]

:( @Daisy. Actually, I can understand that attitude from GP, harsh though it seems....it's all about "patient choice" these days,....+ if the patient doesn't want help, they don't try to push it on them, more's the pity
x x

[Psybbo]

Bathsheba, I know he has nothing to be embarrassed about, but like myself. he may be

[DaisyNonna]

What if I had walked away and left him?
Without food or drink, lying on the floor without clothes in an unheated flat?
In that terrible Americanism, My Bad.

[Bathsheba]

Oh Daisy,..no no no,..please don't misunderstand me! I was trying, in my clumsy way, to explain that if the patient will not let the GP into the house, then the GP should try + act on the information given to them by the relatives.
I wasn't suggesting for a moment that you should walk away.....I had a stubborn father also.
x x x

[DaisyNonna]

Did not in any way think that you were Bathsheba. Only commenting that I could have done so. Apologies if you thought otherwise.

[Bathsheba]

*phew*...that's a relief! I live in constant fear of causing offence ;)
Is it ok to ask you,...is your Dad still around Daisy?
x x

[DaisyNonna]

Ok to ask. Eventually managed to get him to a Dementia Clinic at the local hospital. Dr. asked a few inane questions and said to bring Dad back in 6 months. Dad was dead by then. Still no help given. Spent time nearly every day dialling 999 as I was unable to lift Dad after he had fallen, Paramedics unable to take him to hospital as he was not injured and refused.
Eventually admitted when he cut his heads after a fall.
Fell out of bed twice in hospital. Bed side bars not used. Told he would be discharged (no follow up ) one day and then was phoned the next morning to be told he had died. Not exactly a good advertisement for the NHS.

[Bathsheba]

OMG Daisy,......what a terrible experience, you poor poor soul. I'm so sorry....and I don't blame you for feeling so disillusioned with the system.
You have every right to be angry......what a cock-up.
Which part of the country are you in? Or even.....which country? lol ;)

x x

[Caran]

in the fifties my great aunt suffered dementia. she complained her neighbours were running a sewing machine factory in their cellar and were using her electric. she also said people were coming into her house and stealing her soap and her money/ when she died we found lots of parcels with money in them. they were wrapped in newspaper and tied up with string.

[DaisyNonna]

West Sussex.
Imagine my fear when I needed hospital treatment a few years later.
Hospital was great but operation cancelled twice. Absolutely no back up on discharge in spite of the fact that there was a notice about this on the wall at the Nurses' station. Only saw it when I returned a book a lovely male nurse had lent to me.
Six years later I am better than I had expected and very thankful to all the staff who treated me. After care? Minimal.

[EDDIE51]

sandy . I recognise the symptoms, your sister sound exactly like some of the residents in the care home I worked in . One in particular was always losing her handbag / purse and claiming it had been stolen by the staff. Dementia is a terrible condition and I hate to say that she will get worse but she will. You have to start looking at other options for her care.

[anneasquith]

daisy, I'm sorry to read your post re dad ..

[DaisyNonna]

Thanks anne. I learned a lot from the experience. Doubt that the NHS did.

[jennyjoan]

I too have a brother extremely ill and refuses care. At the moment girlfriend is looking after him in a cooped flat.

He will have to go back to his home eventually but what can doctors, nurses etc etc do when he refuses to let them in.

A perfect example some time ago - he had just got heart surgery and the nurse was doing her rounds. When he saw her outside he started screaming to his girlfriend (in his home) don't let her in, don't let her in with the result nurse said "I heard you Con's brother" and I won't be back. He says "that suits me". No he doesn't have dementia but what can NHS do if he refuses care.

[TonyV]

Jenny section him if they want to then he will be in their care

[Bathsheba]

Heartbreaking stories, ladies. I could bore for hours about my 93yr old MIL with Alzheimers......been in residential care (self-funding) for last 3years, been moved this week to a different home because she now needs Nursing Care.....we've been told she will be reassessed some time within the next 6 weeks as to whether or not she will qualify for assistance with the fees. She *** well ought to......she doesn't know anyone, she babbles nonsense.....is doubly incontinent, and has recently become aggressive + violent.
All her savings have gone, + we are now having to use the money from the sale of her house.
Sorry all,.....I didn't really mean I was going to bore you for hours, lol
x x

[DaisyNonna]

Support the carer. Offer strategies, give advice. Show lifting procedures. Be at the end of a telephone when one is at the end of one's tether.
Bloody well listen!

[TonyV]

Bath you have a lot on your plate aswell

[Bathsheba]

Tony,.....I've had to say enough is enough this time.....I cared for my own mother, then father,.....then the old guy next door.....I've gone a bit bonkers myself, so I've selfishly bowed out of this one, but it doesn't stop me tormenting myself over it.....

Blimey,...look at us gabbing all over poor Sandy's thread......I'm hoping he hasn't subscribed to it now,....poor guy's going to be swamped!

x x x

[TonyV]

Bath perhaps we should start a spin of subject - I'm getting concerned that Sandy has not been online