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SonnyCrockett | 18:58 Sun 19th Oct 2014 | Relationships & Dating
12 Answers
Its like this...

I have been involved with a married woman for about 2 years. She doesn't get on with her husband and also he works on shifts so she doesn't really see him most of the time. We always dine out together visit places etc. We always have a nice time. Recently we drifted apart as I didn't feel valued when being with her anymore. I started finding her very boring and felt i was the only one making the relationship more meaningful. We stopped texting each other etc for long time now. She always plays this stupid game of I have have to text her first or get in touch with her to arrange to meet etc, if say anything then she backs off. I have known her for 2 years now and I don't agree with these silly games. I feel she doesn't value of what we have here between us. As a result of this, we split. Other thing is, she is a nurse at a local hospital and does night shifts so we don't get much time together anyway. She has kids too.

Despite all this, I kind of miss her. We've never slept together but i really treated her like my girlfriend and felt very good going out with her. I admit don't have many friends, so its just always been my few friends I hang out with and her to get me by these days. But since this complication with her, I am beginning to miss her.

I don't know whether to go back with her or just not bother with her since at the end of the day she is married with kids and does not have much time for me. I dont know what to do, I feel if I carry on with her, will i be ruining her further? :(

Please help. Genuine answers please.
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\\\\\I have been involved with a married woman for about 2 years.\\\\

and you have never slept with her.......yeah!right.

\\\\I don't know whether to go back with her or just not bother with her since at the end of the day she is married with kids and does not have much time for me.\\\\

If she is "up for it".....then go back to her.

If you can find somebody else to fulfill your needs.......then don't bother with anyone else.
Why would Sonny lie about sleeping with her?

Why do people lie at all?
This is an anonymous site so there's no need to lie about such things.

Sonny...are you missing her or are you feeling lonely?
Married woman who likes the attention of another man without having to put out- she's stringing you along

Move on - there's plenty more bored married women out there
Question Author
Its true - we never had full-on sex, we just were very flirty together etc.

I dont know what to do. I miss her but I always promised myself that one day I would finish with her as she is married. Im just confused cos I miss my times with her yet she plays these silly games of if i never get in touch with her first then she would never ever get in touch with me - so childish. We had an argument on this.
You've answered yourself really,you felt not valued and to a point bored.

Of course you will miss her,she has become a habit.


Leave it for a while,you may well meet someone who values you more.
You deserve better. All the time you spend with her you're missing out on meeting someone that will be committed to having a relationship with you, not some guilty flirty cheating thing.

If you didn't have sex in 2 years 'together' then you were never actually with her
As you two have not slept together, it sounds more of a friendship than a relationship. If this is the case, then carry on seeing her as a friend, ensuring you both know where you stand in the friendship. If you are after a relationship then I'd suggest that you move on. Could you honestly trust a woman that has been happily sneaking around behind her husbands back for two years?
IF she is married then your best bet is to move on. Life disappointments get consigned to the past in time and you are then in a better position to find someone more suited to the individual you are looking for. But you have to make the decision to go.

Meanwhile she should be looking to solve the problems in her relationship, or opt to move on also, but that is her concern not yours.

Presently she is a convenient (or not so convenient) interest helping to give you a part of what you feel is missing in your life. You owe yourself to commit to more than that with someone free to reciprocate, or it will always seem insufficient.
She doesn't sound much of a "catch" to me - seems to be exploiting your good nature without reciprocating sufficiently. I recommend you dump her and in the immediate short term put all your efforts into your new job (even bury yourself in it). Then when happily settled in to the job, start looking beyond it for new opportunites in your personal life.

Good luck.

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