Abortion..

[Rhian92]

Hello. A few weeks ago i was getting strange pains and generally decided something was up, i took 3 tests and all came back positive but very faintly. I decided be ause of the pains to go to my walk in centre at a&e and was told i wasnt pregnant. However i still hadnt started my period so decided to go to my gp (thank god!) and i was. Myself and the babys father have been together over a year, im 21 and he is 23. Both living at home and he works at said hospital whereas i currently dont have a job (left previous work looking for new place). I told my parents straight away, my dad was sensible and said the time isnt right for me and i cant support a child whereas my mam is more maternal and saw the other side to it. I have friends who have kids all of whom are single mothers and i see they manage okay. Myself and the babies father have a very turbulent relationship and we dont have a current stanle environment for a child so we made the decision to abort. I had the first pill today and go back monday to complete the process. I guess im looking for some comfort. I feel very emotional. Its my baby and i wonder if its a girl or a boy, wonder what they wouldve looked like etc and it kakes me feel upset. I dont know what im going to go through and whether i may see the foetus on monday but i just feel so guilty already. I have a very good home environmemt and know the baby wouldve been loved so im struggling with my decision, although i know at this point its too late. Has anybody else been through this and can offer guidance?

[chaptazbru2]

We'll have to agree to disagree then ...

[Mosaic]

Chaptaz, people may be against a law of any kind, but the way to express that is to tackle the lawmakers, not to vilify those who use the legal framework as it stands.

[Mamyalynne]

Chapta you are quite right this is a hugely emotive topic and bound to stir feelings.


I could no more do as Rhian has done in a thousand years but I won't condemn.

[Mosaic]

...and also like what Prudie said

[Rhian92]

Jennyjoan - he came with me to the hospital today and waited, i went back to his house to rest and he ended up starting an argument (very paranoid person) and told me to leave, i told him to think about what im going through and he simply said 'i dont care'. He's coming with me on monday for the other pill and i tld the nurse (at the time we were okay) that he would be looking after me at home on monday. I really wish he wasnt. Campbellking, naomi, mamyalynne - thankyou for your comments, i felt very confused by my emotions but i guess i do need to let it make me stronger.

[naomi24]

I don't think any of you who are saying "I could never do it" are helping in the slightest - in fact I think it's thoughtless and hurtful. She's not asking if you could do it - she's trying to come to terms with her emotions.

[jennyjoan]

Well there ya go Rhian - get rid, get rid of the horrible little man.

[Mamyalynne]

I gave practical advice too - and I am sure Rhian is well aware there are women who couldn't,surely that is not a revelation.

[Rhian92]

To those of you who say you'd absolutely not consider abortion I imagine your circumstances are different to mine, to put a spin on it - if you were 21, no real life experiences, no job therefore no money, no father involvement for the baby, living with parents who yourself and the baby would be a burden to, would you still 100% go through with it?

[jennyjoan]

Rhian - that last question you asked "would you still 100% go through with it" - does it really matter - you have gone through it so no need to torture yourself anymore.

As a wise oul owl said to me "Upwards and Onwards".

[Mamyalynne]

Naomi was right to pull me up on my comments, I should have left it at my first post.


I won't answer that question, simply because I doubt you'd like my answer.

Try to accept the choice you have made,ditch the poisonous partner and I wish you a happy life ahead.

[tamborine]

"....always believed a baby should be wanted by both parents...." exactly right! This was an unplanned pregnancy so try & put it behind you and plan a better future. Good luck.

[Rhian92]

Mamyalynne - I respect that despite any circumstance you'd have a child. I believe a lot of people do exactly the same despite their circumstances - for me, I never wanted a child to bring up by myself and so young when I want to see the world and get a good career before I settle down and have always felt that way before this happened. It was an accident and one which I'll be so cautious as to not repeat. It's something I'll never forget but the comments from some of you have really helped and I'll do my best to stay strong on Monday. Thankyou for your input :)

[Mamyalynne]

You're welcome and I really do wish you well.

[SolKatya]

Rhian, the emotional feelings you are experiencing are normal. The guilt feelings are also normal and you will experience them in the future. From Cloverjo's post "You have made the right decision for your circumstances. You are suffering now, but it will be ok." thats true! But "I have friends who have had abortions at a similar age and circumstance to you, and as far as I know they have no regrets.", I wouldn't agree with the "no regrets" bit! I went through this 22 years ago this month and I still get emotional at times. The guilt is with me all the time, and there are times, quite a lot, I do regret what I done. Ask at your GP Practice for Counselling. Good luck, and as has been said, you are making the right decision.

[puzzled54]

How are you feeling today?

[Rhian92]

Hello puzzled54, thankyou for asking, the process itself is certainly not for the faint hearted - incredibly stressful and painful and i have followed the neccessary steps to ensure this doesnt happen again. I can wholeheartedly say i would never have an abortion again but feel a lot happier in myself and ready to move on with life :)

[naomi24]

Have a happy life. I wish you all the very best. :o)

[gness]

That's a good way to think, Rhian......be happy....x

[Rhian92]

Thankyou guys i took alot from posting on here :)