Body & Soul2 mins ago
Welshie Ab Raffle
22 Answers
A Yorkshire man named Welshie moved to Conway and bought a sheep from an old Anglesey farmer for £100.
The Anglesey farmer agreed to deliver the sheep the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The sheep died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK then, just unload the sheep."
"What ya gonna do with em."
"I'm gonna raffle him off on Answerbank."
"Ya can't raffle off a dead sheep!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."
A month later the Anglesey farmer met up with Welshie and asked, "What happened with the dead sheep?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 200 tickets at £2 apiece and made a profit of £498."
"Didn't anyone complain?" "Just the guy who won, some guy called tony who thought it was a goat. So I gave him his £2 back."
The Anglesey farmer agreed to deliver the sheep the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The sheep died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK then, just unload the sheep."
"What ya gonna do with em."
"I'm gonna raffle him off on Answerbank."
"Ya can't raffle off a dead sheep!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."
A month later the Anglesey farmer met up with Welshie and asked, "What happened with the dead sheep?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 200 tickets at £2 apiece and made a profit of £498."
"Didn't anyone complain?" "Just the guy who won, some guy called tony who thought it was a goat. So I gave him his £2 back."
Answers
They have found two new uses for sheep in Wales , meat and wool!
22:07 Sun 27th Jul 2014
A guy's doing a PhD in sheep shagging. He goes off touring Britain finding out how people do it in different areas. First he goes up to Aberdeen. He goes into a pub, buys a drink, and asks the barman where he can find the sheep shaggers. The barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub.
So he goes over to this corner and gets talking to the guys there. Once there he says:
"Actually I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so could you tell me, how do you do it around here?"
"Well we put on wellies, go into a field, and we grab a sheep. Then we shove its hind legs down into the wellies so it can't get away, and shag it."
Next he goes down to Cumbria and goes into a pub in Keswick. He asks the barman where the local sheep shaggers hang out, and he points to the darkest, dingiest corner. So he goes over to the corner, and asks the guys:
"Excuse me but I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so would you mind telling me, how do you do it around here?"
"Well we put on wellies and go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find a sheep we shove its hind legs down into the wellies, then shag it."
He then decides to see what they do in Wales, so he takes a trip to Conway. There he finds a dodgy looking pub, and asks the barman where he can find the local sheep shaggers. Once again, the barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub. So he goes over and asks:
"Excuse me, I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging. Could you tell me how you do it in this area?"
"Well, bach, we go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find one we grab it around the waist, hold it as tight as possible so it won't get away, and shag it."
"But, why don't you just shove its hind legs down inside your wellies? Wouldn't that be easier?"
"What, no kissing?!"
So he goes over to this corner and gets talking to the guys there. Once there he says:
"Actually I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so could you tell me, how do you do it around here?"
"Well we put on wellies, go into a field, and we grab a sheep. Then we shove its hind legs down into the wellies so it can't get away, and shag it."
Next he goes down to Cumbria and goes into a pub in Keswick. He asks the barman where the local sheep shaggers hang out, and he points to the darkest, dingiest corner. So he goes over to the corner, and asks the guys:
"Excuse me but I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so would you mind telling me, how do you do it around here?"
"Well we put on wellies and go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find a sheep we shove its hind legs down into the wellies, then shag it."
He then decides to see what they do in Wales, so he takes a trip to Conway. There he finds a dodgy looking pub, and asks the barman where he can find the local sheep shaggers. Once again, the barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub. So he goes over and asks:
"Excuse me, I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging. Could you tell me how you do it in this area?"
"Well, bach, we go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find one we grab it around the waist, hold it as tight as possible so it won't get away, and shag it."
"But, why don't you just shove its hind legs down inside your wellies? Wouldn't that be easier?"
"What, no kissing?!"
A ventriloquist is out for a walk in rural Wales when he sees a farmer standing by the farm gate and decides to have some fun with him.
''Hello'' he says'' mind if I have a word with your sheep dog?''
The farmer replies ''don't be daft, dogs don't talk''
The 'vent' turns to the dog and says'' Morning how does your owner treat you?'' Then he throws his voice to make it look like the sound is coming from the dog. '' Not bad, I get walks and regular food and water''
The farmer is astonished, but the 'vent' goes on to say, ''Ok what has your horse got to say?''
Again the farmer says ''don't be stupid, horses can't talk''
''We'll see about that'' says the 'vent' and throws his voice again.
'' I get a long ride every week plenty of food and my stable is warm and comfortable'' says the 'horse'
The farmer is absolutely dumbstruck .
''Ok'' says the 'vent' ''lets see what your sheep has to say for himself''
A look of panic comes over the farmers face and he shouts '' That sheep is a bloody liar!''
''Hello'' he says'' mind if I have a word with your sheep dog?''
The farmer replies ''don't be daft, dogs don't talk''
The 'vent' turns to the dog and says'' Morning how does your owner treat you?'' Then he throws his voice to make it look like the sound is coming from the dog. '' Not bad, I get walks and regular food and water''
The farmer is astonished, but the 'vent' goes on to say, ''Ok what has your horse got to say?''
Again the farmer says ''don't be stupid, horses can't talk''
''We'll see about that'' says the 'vent' and throws his voice again.
'' I get a long ride every week plenty of food and my stable is warm and comfortable'' says the 'horse'
The farmer is absolutely dumbstruck .
''Ok'' says the 'vent' ''lets see what your sheep has to say for himself''
A look of panic comes over the farmers face and he shouts '' That sheep is a bloody liar!''
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