THANK YOU ALL

[Bumpkin_Clumber]

Just a brief thank you to all ABers - my wife of 8 years died suddenly at home in the early hours of last Tuesday morning. I was Ok at the time, my old training kicked in and I went into auto-pilot when I was doing CPR trying to revive her and waiting for the Ambulance. The two crews and I worked on her for 45 minutes to no avail. It was only later that things hit me.

After the undertaker had left, to try and find what to do next I turned to the internet and ChatterBank was still loaded from the previous night when my wife and I had endless chuckles over some of the repartee and replies. I started to read on. Unbeknownst to you lot you took my mind off the enormity of the situation. I’ve dipped in and out all week when I‘ve felt low, even posted some answers and got quite incensed with some contributors, I’ve laughed and cried with you.

Now I can start to breath again and feel up to having yet another go at innumerable government departments who keep referring me to someone else who passes me on - who passes me on - who passes >>>> and so on until I make a full circle and end up where I started

For all of your unwitting help may I give you all a big thank you, AB has stopped me tearing my hair out in clumps and kept me sane (Well, as sane as I ever was !).

[gness]

Hi again, Bumpkin. Just spoken to a friend, the wife of a minister. In circumstances like yours her husband would share the service with the chosen minister as a compromise. Just a thought and at least a minister or vicar of your choice would be comforting rather than one you don

[gness]

Sorry, laptop went off on it`s own! Don`t want at all....to finish.

[chaptazbru]

Very sorry to hear about your wife Bumpkin. Glad you have your dogs for company and to keep you occupied. Kindest regards.

[albaqwerty]

So very sorry for your loss Bumpkin, as has been mentioned, if we can help, we will.

Take care of yourself.

[marval]

Very sorry to hear about your loss. There are always people here to talk to

[tinkerbell23]

Oooh BC :0( not sure we have met yet but nevertheless i am so sorry for your loss! Wen im feeling a bit low i hope on and chat away! Well i come on when i dont too hehe but i look forward to chatting on various threads no doubt sometime soon....and i hope that you can come through this awful situation. Xxx

[LoftyLottie]

Hi BC. We haven't met as yet, but hopefully we will. Welcome to AB - I am glad you have found us

So sorry for the loss of your wife.

Lottie

[parkie]

Hi Bumpkin. So sorry to hear of your loss. Just look at all the support you are getting from people who have not even met you. It's really fantastic. Re the funeral. As a committed Christian, I have no problems about the service, or the afterlife etc. However when my wife's great nephew died a few years ago, his parents simply had a graveside service in the local cemetary. No hymns, few prayers and a few tributes. My sister-in-law had the same.They didn't even have to go into the chapel. It's a case of everyone to their own.
Maybe a local church other than the one you mentioned would do the same. This one is attached to the local crematorium.

[boxtops]

Sorry to hear your news, bumpkin - we're still here if you need us.

[spotit3]

So sorry to hear of your sad loss, Bumpkin. On looking back I think I just got through the first year on autopilot and it actually hit me harder the second year. Have to say chatter bank has often helped me so glad to hear it is helping you too.

[Bumpkin_Clumber]

Hello all, thanks again for all the new messages, you've no idea how uplifting they are (Together with the "Jokes" topic and of course Ab Editor's vereration slot/book, infact Ive read many books shorted than that and far less entertaining to boot.
Tried the Bishop... Will not intervene in the matter, says it's down to the incumbant. The Vicar will not allow another celebrant in the church..

So..... It's got to be the local church and on to the cemetery... At least I will fulfill one of Christines wishes, or even two, that she be buried with her late husband and that she wasnt cremated... doesnt stop me feeling guilty that I've let her down though.
Looking at it from another point of view though, I'm only burying her remains, no her, she will live on in the memories of her relatives and friends in a form that is not bound by petty red tape and bureaucracy

[boxtops]

Well said, bumpkin - big hugs.

[DTCwordfan]

true, it is all in the memories, and that is what to cast your mental concrete base around, the good and joyous memories that make up far more of our lives than we actually realise at the time.

[gness]

Bumpkin. YOU have nothing to feel guilty about at all! You are carrying out Christine`s most important wishes. Other things are out of your hands. Be proud that you are doing your very best for her. At the service let your mind go from the things that you both didn`t want and talk to her as you did when she was with you. You`re doing well my love.x

[askyourgran]

Well put Bumpkin. x

[gness]

Thank you AYG. Doesn`t your heart just bleed when someone is suffering and those who should be easing that suffering make it worse?

[gness]

Thank you started out as I agree AYG! Don`t know what laptop is doing to me today!

[LoftyLottie]

BC I agree, well said and beautifully phrased.

I hope all goes well.

See you soon - I am glad you found us all!!

Lottie
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