Is The Flag On The Ab Opening Page A Day...
ChatterBank3 mins ago
Platonic Relationships
101 Answers
Might i make it clear from the outset, that this thread is not meant to be "judgmental" (which seems to be the buzz word on AB recently) but shall we say...an exploration of philosophies, highlighted by yesterday:s thread.."Who Knows Who on Here."
Can heterosexual friendships exist without an underlying sexual connotation or desire?
Let me define a platonic heterosexual relationship (friendship)....a lasting and frequent interlude with one of the opposite sex......seeing someone on a regular basis without a sexual intention (making a pass). Going out for a meal or a drink on a regular basis with one of the opposite sex.
On a personal note, I have never come across this concept and as far as i know none of my friends or acquaintances exhibit this phenomenon and certainly it has never happened to me.
The odd dinner, the odd chat......but not a regular entity. I am not criticizing.... I admire such behavior.
One is introduced to a woman and you are either sexually attracted to her or you are not, if the latter, there the story ends and if you are, then you make your pass. if it is rebutted, well, some you win and some you lose, if it is received with a similar or like response a sexual relationship may develop which has predicable sequelae.
What I don't understand is how you can have, by my definition a platonic relationship with a woman , attractive or otherwise.
All my friendships(non sexual), again by my definition above,have all been homosexual and that has been the case with my mates.
Can heterosexual friendships exist without an underlying sexual connotation or desire?
Let me define a platonic heterosexual relationship (friendship)....a lasting and frequent interlude with one of the opposite sex......seeing someone on a regular basis without a sexual intention (making a pass). Going out for a meal or a drink on a regular basis with one of the opposite sex.
On a personal note, I have never come across this concept and as far as i know none of my friends or acquaintances exhibit this phenomenon and certainly it has never happened to me.
The odd dinner, the odd chat......but not a regular entity. I am not criticizing.... I admire such behavior.
One is introduced to a woman and you are either sexually attracted to her or you are not, if the latter, there the story ends and if you are, then you make your pass. if it is rebutted, well, some you win and some you lose, if it is received with a similar or like response a sexual relationship may develop which has predicable sequelae.
What I don't understand is how you can have, by my definition a platonic relationship with a woman , attractive or otherwise.
All my friendships(non sexual), again by my definition above,have all been homosexual and that has been the case with my mates.
Answers
I suspect that the thought of intimacy is almost bound to occur from time to time. Well unless your friend has a hideous appearance. But it need not be that regular nor acted upon. Makes one wonder how tightly the definition of "Platonic" is. Desire doesn't always result in a "pass". The best definition of a Platonic relationship
08:09 Wed 16th Aug 2017
Well I think the best I can say, Sqad is that I'm sure I give F the same through our friendship as he gives to me.....I hope so and that is as much as either of us wants from the relationship.....
So, for you part of a relationship with a female must include sex.....I say part because there must be other attractions for you?
For me, F and others the relationship doesn't need to include sex.....
You'll probably get some stick if this thread reads as though you only want to know a woman for sex.......
I doubt that's true.....I'm sure you know many women with whom you don't have sex.....well fairly sure.... ;-)
You just don't want, need or haven't found a friendship that has everything a sexual relationship has......without the sex?
That's fine, surely?
And thinking about it....I don't actually know many men who have a close female friend in the same way as I'm F's friend...I mean the dinners, theatre, holidays......a few but not many......
And, if those who don't, only want a close female friend if "benefits" are included you're not alone..... :-)
Have I made any sense?.......xxx
So, for you part of a relationship with a female must include sex.....I say part because there must be other attractions for you?
For me, F and others the relationship doesn't need to include sex.....
You'll probably get some stick if this thread reads as though you only want to know a woman for sex.......
I doubt that's true.....I'm sure you know many women with whom you don't have sex.....well fairly sure.... ;-)
You just don't want, need or haven't found a friendship that has everything a sexual relationship has......without the sex?
That's fine, surely?
And thinking about it....I don't actually know many men who have a close female friend in the same way as I'm F's friend...I mean the dinners, theatre, holidays......a few but not many......
And, if those who don't, only want a close female friend if "benefits" are included you're not alone..... :-)
Have I made any sense?.......xxx
I disagree, I
have people in my life who I see frequently, whose company I enjoy but who will never share the closeness of friendship. Friends are those who know where You buried the bodies and best friends helped you bury them. I have people I see rarely if at all now but if they called me I would go in an instant and I am in light touch contact with who I know feel the same and with whom I shared major life events. That to me is a friend..... the chaps in the pub who I joke with are not nor will they ever be.
have people in my life who I see frequently, whose company I enjoy but who will never share the closeness of friendship. Friends are those who know where You buried the bodies and best friends helped you bury them. I have people I see rarely if at all now but if they called me I would go in an instant and I am in light touch contact with who I know feel the same and with whom I shared major life events. That to me is a friend..... the chaps in the pub who I joke with are not nor will they ever be.
gness.....that is well summed up from my point of view and indeed it did make sense.
Rowan and others clearly you do have a type of relationship with other men that you regards as friends besides sex being involved.
It has been an interesting thread exhibiting diverse opinions mainly, not all, from women and i would have liked more input from our male ABERS.
To the two ABers who tried to personalise the thread namely ummmm and Lonny, I will say that n doubt you will have further opportunities to display your talents another day.
Rowan and others clearly you do have a type of relationship with other men that you regards as friends besides sex being involved.
It has been an interesting thread exhibiting diverse opinions mainly, not all, from women and i would have liked more input from our male ABERS.
To the two ABers who tried to personalise the thread namely ummmm and Lonny, I will say that n doubt you will have further opportunities to display your talents another day.
I've come to this thread late but I've got a (male) friend who often spends time with a (married) lady, including sharing a room together (with separate beds) when they visit London. He's 'as gay as they come' (describing himself as 'an old queen') and seems to be able to maintain a close friendship with a woman without anyone (including her husband) making any false assumptions about the nature of their relationship.
I'm largely 'asexual' (in that I don't have particularly strong attractions to either men or women). I've got a married lady friend with whom I spend quite a lot of time, without her husband ever seeming to bother about it.
I'm largely 'asexual' (in that I don't have particularly strong attractions to either men or women). I've got a married lady friend with whom I spend quite a lot of time, without her husband ever seeming to bother about it.
What an interesting thread (if I say so myself) what i find interesting is how many people can have a true friend, of the opposite sex. Sex, is important to me, still at my age and i do not regard myself as odd, a pervert or "cringeworthy" has one female ABer had described me but I suspect through various factors that sex in the "elderly" will be far more common that thought and far more "normal" than some regard it at the moment.
So....yes....true friendship with the opposite sex in an asexual manner does indeed exist.
Thank you all for your honest input.
So....yes....true friendship with the opposite sex in an asexual manner does indeed exist.
Thank you all for your honest input.
On a lighter note, one of the few problems with sex and the elderly is going at it hammer and tongs only to realise that you've discovered a new fold and not the target you'd imagined.
Nowt wrong with any of it between consenting adults, especially as we're all still 21 in our heads.
I do have good female friends, mostly friends of the boss, and we all get on great, no issues.
Nowt wrong with any of it between consenting adults, especially as we're all still 21 in our heads.
I do have good female friends, mostly friends of the boss, and we all get on great, no issues.
I know what you mean squad. I've sometimes ponder upon this issue. I used to think that for a relationship to mature viz with the opposite sex. Then let intimacy occur, fizzle out, clearing the decks so to speak. Then after "knowing" each other so well, a firm and lasting platonic friendship is easier. I think it may be a male domination subliminal reaction to an attractive female.
"Then after "knowing" each other so well, a firm and lasting platonic friendship is easier."
LOL...yes your post sums it up better than I have done, however once the physical bit (sex) has run it's course i could then not have a platonic friendship, an acquaintanceship (if there is a word) but for friendship I would need to go back to my male mates.
LOL...yes your post sums it up better than I have done, however once the physical bit (sex) has run it's course i could then not have a platonic friendship, an acquaintanceship (if there is a word) but for friendship I would need to go back to my male mates.
