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I'm Off To Malta In The Morning............

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10ClarionSt | 12:36 Wed 22nd Mar 2017 | ChatterBank
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.......Bing Bong the PA's gonna chime.

Off to the airport,

Show them me passport,

Get me to the plane on time!!!

All my own work. Clever clogs eh? (Voice from the back - "Gerroff yer pillock!!!"). Actually, it's for a memorial service for all Maltese crew lost on HMS Glorious on June 8th 1940. The President of Malta and the British High Commissioner will be in attendance at St. Lawrences' Church, Vittoriosa, in Birgu. It's always well supported by the locals as there were more Maltese casualties on Glorious than any other RN vessel in WW2. It will be memorable.
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The Maltese Highway Code (in its entirety):
"The car with the loudest horn has the right of way"

;-)
Looking across the across azure blue waters of Meliha bay,
Clarion's eyes assaulted by a thousand garish sun shades
This is the home of the sand-wobblers
At the going down of the sun, they retire to booze-soaked warrens not to re appear until the rising of a new dawn
Slithering from their fetid nests to once more lie amidst rotting seaweed and old icecream wrappers
Occasionally one does see a red bum vibrate as a suntan-oiled sand wobbler heads off to refuel on putrid burgers and warm beer
Oh for the glorious life of the sand wobbler
Who will never experience this beauty of these islands.
Overheard in the Capua Court Hotel, Sliema:

Guy On The Next table: "What does 'a la Maltese' mean on the menu? It seems to apply to everything here"

Waiter: "It means it comes in tomato sauce, sir".

GONT: "I don't like tomato sauce. Haven't you got anything that's not served 'a la Maltese'?"

Waiter (pointing at the menu): "Yes sir. This item is served 'a la Italienne' "

GONT: "What does 'a la Italianne' mean?"

Waiter (obviously bored with the conversation): "It means, sir, that it comes in tomato sauce"

;-)
Lol...... You're not wrong there, Chris.

From the moment I leave the airport car park, after picking up my rental, at the very first roundabout, all you hear is horns tooting because nobody knows who has the right of way!......It is fun though. :-)

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Did the PA sound the chimes then?
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hope you are having a nice time xx
I'm jealous :-)
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Malta was the first foreign place I ever visited. I went with my cousin and her parents. Stayed somewhere called Corinthia or Corinthian something. I remember there were no beaches but we did have a pool. It would be interesting to see how it's changed.
this one, 237, though it's part of a group called corinthia

http://www.corinthia.com/application/files/6514/8474/5746/CHSGB.jpg
DT - that must have been it but it was so long ago that I can't really remember
My in-laws retired there in the early 70s and we went every summer holiday. I loved Malta.

The drivers are, mad. There was a story that went around at that time that a serviceman was stationed there for a year. He was bet £100 that he couldn't get through the year without having a crash. He managed it, only to be hit by a car at Hyde Park Corner on his way to collect his £100, by a car that was driven by a Maltese. :))
This is the EEC?

One day an Italian Man went to a restaurant in Malta and wanted two pieces of toast, and the waiter gives him one, and the Italian man says "I want two piece." The waiter said "go to the toilet." The Man says "You no understand I want two piece on my plate" then the waiter says "You better not pissh on the plate you son of a bittch!"

The man says "I did not even know her and she calls me a Son of a Beach?" Then he goes to a bigger restaurant and finds himself with a spoon and a knife but no fork, he says "I want a fock" the waiter says "Everybody wants to f--ck" and he says "You no understand I want to fock on the table" and the waiter says "You better not f"ck on the table you son of a bittch!" Then later he goes to a hotel and in bed he doesn't have a sheet "Call the manager im telle him i wanna sheet!" says the Italian man, then the other guy says "Go to the toliet" and the Italian man say "You no understand I wanna sheet in my bed!" and the other guy says you better not shiet in the bed you son of a bittcch!" and the Italian man goes to the check out corner and the check out says "Peace on you" and the Italian man says "PISSh ON YOU TOO, YOU SON OF A BEACH! I'M GOING BACK TO ITALY!"
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