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Asperger/autism Symptoms?

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Barquentine | 11:16 Fri 13th Nov 2015 | Body & Soul
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Does anyone else experience the following confusion? Whenever a phrase in common usage can be looked at one of two ways, most people understand immediately what is meant, but I always see the phrase as ambiguous and cannot remember which is the correct interpretation.

As examples, ‘bringing a date forward’ always meant (to me) making it later in the year. ‘Put the date back’ meant it will happen sooner than planned. Because I see time as a road – moving ‘back’ means towards where I am now.

‘He has all but completed the task’ – used to mean to me that he still has everything to do – the exact opposite of its actual meaning.

If today is Monday, ‘next Friday’ means the second Friday from now – the one that is near the end of next week. ‘This Friday’ is the Friday of the week I am in – but this is not what people mean! Most people mean this Friday when they say ‘next’ Friday. So many missed dates!!

An address stamp in the office had a sticker saying ‘TOP’. This was no good to me! Did this mean you should have ‘TOP’ towards you or away from you? Not a problem for anyone else in the office. That’s when I suspected I had a problem!

My best example is, as a kid, I was concentrating hard on a task at school. The teacher told me that I “couldn’t see the wood for the trees”. I took umbrage and complained: “Yes, I can sir, I can see the bark on the trees”. The teacher could see I was not being sarcastic and was genuinely confused. This example illustrates perfectly how my mind always seems to focus on entirely the wrong things so it is working overtime to try to catch up with what others understand easily.

My question is what type of condition these comprehension errors point to; they clearly indicate all is not normal in there!
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The 'choice' thing I resolved many years ago when someone explained people the word 'choice' when they mean 'option'. 'Two choices' would imply three or more options. First choice say option A and second choice option C.
As for being pedantic, well, when we were kids (and this is a true story) my sister said; "you are always SO pedantic". I retorted; "NO, I am not. You just give me a list of every time I've been pedantic." She could tell from the look on my face that I had instantly realised the irony.

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