An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.
A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "
"VERY WELL" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
Mani Hussain Wed 14/05/08 20:31
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How many cheap P&J points for posting "'imagine' being the operative word"..?
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Sorry Octavius, I'm afraid there's no happy ending in either version.
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....If you want a happy ending you need the Jehovah's Witness version which goes like this..
A man was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that god had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him.
He ran as fast as he could down the path.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him.
Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.
He looked again and the bear was even closer.
His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet.
But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Luckily, the bear turned out to be a polar bear called Clive who was just wanting to make friends, so they shook hands and walked off through the forest together.
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Question Author
lol Ludwig, you should write a sitcom.
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Oh dear, I laugh at Mani's joke, I laugh at Waldo's wit - I go away for a few hours, and come back to find ghetto poet ranting again. When I was a child, during English lessons, we had sections called 'Comprehension' which meant we were taught to understand the meaning of the written word. May I suggest, ghetto poet, that you take few lessons in comprehension, because although you may read my posts, you very clearly don't understand them otherwise you would never accuse me of xenophobia. If you have an axe to grind with Wizard, which having read your offerings elsewhere, you clearly have, that's between you and him. I've told you before you don't know what you're talking about and I take great exception to your accusation. Be assured that if I see any more such unfounded garbage from you concerning me, you may well find yourself the subject of a complaint to the editor.
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shame you didnt have any religious or racial tolerance classes at school.
Its really very silly for you to deny something that is so obvious to everyone naomi. the best thing that you can do now is to apologise to everyone for you past behaviour especially keyplus and mani and move on.
this website maybe a big game to you but i bet wizards girlfriend has taken quite a few beating from you encouraging him and egging him on with these sick ideologys you seem to share.
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Ghetto Poet - just because youhave decided that naomi is a bigot , doesn't make it so.
There is a 'history' between many of the contributers that runs across the months, years and topics which may not necessarily be immediately apparent to the casual observer.
You have cherry-picked some of naomi's responses to keyplus and mani and have decided that this illustrate a deep-seated bigotry.
You are wrong. And if you took the time to read a broader example of the things naomi has posted, you ought to revise your view.
You won't, of course, because it is easier to remain indignant and spout nonsense than put in the hard work.
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Believe me I've read a lot of Naomi's posts.
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Well, in that case, you should know better !
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shame you didnt have any religious or racial tolerance classes at school.
i can honestly say i never had any but then again there was no pc brigade.
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Good joke
I was going to write a book about being an ATHEIST and pray to God it sold....poor I know
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ghetto poet, you really do say the most utterly stupid and ignorant things, so just stop before you make an even bigger fool of yourself.
Thanks monkeyeyes and DrFilth. This is ridiculous.
Fish .... that's funny. :o)
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I consider that ending up in heaven is a comparatively happy outcome following the inevitable.
You didn't clarify what religion he/she was from so whilst I "imagined" them going to heaven, it is quite possible that they went to valhalla, the elysian fields or even hell. But who knows, unless you wish to debate the issue amongst yourselves....?
Do you think God answered the JW's prayers by making a potentially ferocious bear a friend-seeking pacifist?
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Very nice joke Mani. I really loved it.
Ghetto, you are banging your head against someone who is never wrong because you have to admit that others can understand you better than you do for yourself and only then you believe that you could be wrong as well.
Well, few people can not even think that. So I have understood few people within my limited time here and am very much willing to just ignore them as I am sure lot of others are already doing so. Thanks for mentioning my name.
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funny joke is
Dawn French got arrested for drug smuggling. She was wearing a short skirt and when she bent over she revealed 75 kilos of crack
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