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Saying thank you

to some one who is dying.
How do you do that without sounding depressing and maudling?
I have just written a letter to a lady who once helped me and many others and now she faces the longest, hardest trip of her life. One she will make alone.
What do you say?
I Don't know.
What are the best words without pointing out the obvious?
I just want to know how others would deal with it.

Thanks for your time.

tigerlily11 Mon 28/07/08 18:56

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naomi24
Mon 28/07/08
22:40

Tigerlily, I take it this lady knows she is dying? There's no need to be maudlin or to mention her condition - and it doesn't need to be a long letter. Just tell her you've been thinking of her, and you want to thank her for the help she has given you. Tell her what is in your heart - and send her your love. You may well regret it if you don't. You're right. This is a journey she'll make alone, and she may be reflecting on her life rght now, so I think she'll really appreciate your letter. Don't leave it too late - do it.

sara3
Mon 28/07/08
22:42

wise words, Naomi. I'm sure the recipient will be touched.

Rosetta
Mon 28/07/08
22:55

For some, knowing that you are dying is incredibly frightening and you need to know that support is there for you when it is at its darkest. Maybe what goes around comes around & she would welcome someone being there to support her.
If, on the other hand she has always given rather than received, she may find this difficult. all you can do is offer love and support

keyplus90
Mon 28/07/08
23:37

When a person dies and leaves this world, he /she does not take any thing from here. Even the body stays here. Only links that remains even after the death of a person,

1 - good prayers for that person by the people left behind who loved him and remember him/her for good reasons.

2 - Any charity they contributed towards and as long as people are benefiting from that, they will get reward for that in hereafter. Even if they planted a tree where people can sit for a bit of a shade.

3 - Good education they provided to their children where they became good citizens due to that and benefited the society. Dead parents even get their share of reward out of that without children's own reward being reduced.

These 3 things are very important and from your words I can tell that this woman has contributed on these lines. You may tell her about this in your own words and in your own style. Above all I always believe that if you speak your heart out honestly even if it looks and sounds stupid then you always give people the message you want to give. You do not have to be an Oscar nominee to tell people how you feel.

tigerlily11
Tue 29/07/08
08:50

Question Author

I said what I thought should be said.
She has been fighting for 6 months against cancer but shes lost the battle.
She is still so young. Younger than me.
This isn't the first time I have had to do this.
But usually it has been face to face.
Strange how I find that easier. But It's not possible this time.
I just wanted to know how other people tackle these situations.

naomi24
Tue 29/07/08
09:13

Sometimes writing it down is more difficult especially at such a sad time - but I don't think you'll regret doing it. x

STEPHJ17
Mon 04/08/08
00:05

When some-one has only a limited time left it is MOST important to remember to enjoy that time left to them. Now that is easier said than done, but having been through this (my beloved husband died in my arms from kidney cancer just five months ago) I know that is essential to maintain normality as much as is possible. Put your discomfort to one side and say what you have to say from the heart

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