Childcare or stay at home?

[dave50]

After watching the program on TV last night about the experiment to take babies and toddlers into work instead of resorting to child care it got me thinking. I can understand both parents having to go back to work if money is tight and it's the only way to pay the bills. But if they could live quite comfortably on one salary, like some on this program, why doesnt one parent stay at home to look after the child? It strikes me that it is selfishness that heaven forbid they might have to go without their gadgets, big cars and fancy foreign holidays. If you cant stand the thought of staying at home with a baby and would rather hand it over to someone else to look after after 5 minutes then obviously parenthood is not for you.

[Toes]

I take your point Box and Flip, but I would do what I did again, my childs education was important to me, and I would not rely on the state to provide this to as high enough standard for me or mine.

I worked flexable hours, did not de-skill in my year out (twice) either.

I guess its all to do with what you want for your childrens future, and what you are willing to do to do to ensure this. (of note from when my youngest was 6 I became a single parent, had I not continued to work when they were young, it is doubtful, I would have got a job earning enough money for me to provide for their ongoing needs)

[Kassee]

Have you not heard of something called MORTGAGE, have you not heard about the cost of house prices via a normal average wage. People either work or have nowhere to live. Some are single parents and are actively encouraged by todays government to work rather than live on benefits and bring up their children. (Altho I cannot understand why that is beneficial - as they claim childcare costs which is probably about the same as their benefit entitlement).

[beso]

I feel sad for children whose parents are so self indulgent that they bring up their child to be completely dependent on them for everyhting without the experience of beng cared for and nurtured by other adults.

It often leads poor socialisation of the child.

It is also unfortunate that these people belittle those who make different choices, some being so arrogant as to claim that they are not worthy to be parents.

[emmie]

most people i know can't survive on one salary, even taking into childcare costs. Besides why should one give up work, which is usually the woman.
Your question leaves me wondering how you think that everyone has fancy cars, foreign holidays, most people don't, they just manage to get by, that's why both work, to make ends meet.

[NOX]

We did a combination of everything with our children, sometimes I stayed at home ( despite running several businesses at the time), sometimes my wife did ( despite being a film director and often going off for weeks/ months at a time) and sometimes we ' resorted' as you put it to childcare. I'm happy to report none of the kids suffered due to any of it- so why be so judgmental towards those that both want to keep their careers alive?

[LoftyLottie]

100% agree

The Soviet culture of children being cared for by the State every day whilst parents worked has been proved to be a disaster, and yet it seems we are heading in the same direction. You are right saying that parents are actively encouraged to work, both single and married. Proportionally we got our first mortgage it was about the same situation as today. It took my whole salary. We went without loads of things and I worked in the evenings, but no way would I let my young child be looked after by anybody except his parents until he reached school age - when I went back to work during school hours.

Can't afford not to work in my opinion in many, many cases is 'Don't want to manage with less money and make sacrifices"

[LoftyLottie]

I am not being judgemental about the parents, they are encouraged by the system to use childcare and many seem to see nurseries and child minders as as 'normal'.

[ummmm]

I ran my own business. I had no choice but to go back to work. Luckily for me I worked from home so I dropped the elder 2 to school and spent time with the youngest before dropping him to nursery. The nursery was 1 min away so I'd often pick him for lunch.

[EDDIE51]

One point here that seems to have been missed is the unless you have relative who will take care of your child, child care is so expensive now that it is not a realistic proposition. My daughter is a single Mum , we look after her child when she works as a nursery place is £45 for 6 hours , more than she would have earned !
Taking babies into work is only an option in a very few cases , I think these TV producers assume everyone works in a nice clean warm office with room for a child. My working life was in an industrial Chemistry laboratory , not a place to take a child !