peoples responses when they have totally and undeniably messed up...and they know it...

[joko]

for me, i would much prefer they just acknowledged it, apologised and promised not to do it again ...

instead you often get -

attempts to defend the indefensible

silly denials - when they are 'bang to rights'

blaming you for 'making them do it'

switching the focus onto other issues

accusing you of having done worse in the past.

sob story.


amongst other transparent, childish and stupid tactics

why bother?
none of that can ever work...it will not solve anything or make the person you have hurt 'let you off' and forget it... and even if they back down in the row, they KNOW you are guilty... you have not 'won'

which one do you do?

[joko]

D9 - yes thats what i mean..it makes you even more incredulous...because its as though they think you will fall for any old crap...and that they dont care for you enough to want to put things right...they just want to save their own skin - no matter how stupid and unlikely it is.
and even if you let it go - you dont forgive or forget - because they are not sorry

when you are digging yourself a hole - at some point you have to show some backbone and sense and just hold your hands up

ill bet that bloke even now defends himself to everyone.

as with robin cook, he diffused and calmed the situation by coming clean, without people losing even more respect for him by squirming and lying

[boxtops]

I learned a long time ago to say "sorry, I fouled up, now what can I do to put it right?" - we all make mistakes, admit it and it causes you far less trouble.

[naomi24]

If I'm wrong, I'll say I'm wrong. I don't have a problem with that at all. People do far more damage to their reputation by being branded a liar - which you are if you try to avoid responsibility.

[TWR]

There is a saying Joko, a lier has to have a good memory otherwise they slip up! and many do, what goes around & all that.

[tinkerbell23]

Me personally- hands up and admit it x

[joko]

i suppose its worse when someone has been neing deceitful and been caught out - and i understand in their desperation they will make stuff up etc
but people do it when something is just a simple accident

i suppsoe with me and the bloke with a ciggie he was afraid i would shout at him - or ask him to pay for the skirt...

[wildwood]

Wouldn't it be a lot simpler if everyone took on our household rule?

When I am wrong I say sorry.
When Mrs.WW is wrong I also say sorry.

[Seadragon]

It's in some people's personalities to not admit when they are wrong or have messed up. I would also add to your list that they are more than likely to demean and verbally abuse the other, then ever admit they are at fault. In my experience the adult doesn't change...it's their 'make-up'.

And to use this one....'accusing you of having done worse in the past.'...that's just horrible. To try and justify their actions by putting the other down..it only destroys the trust a person puts into another.