"i'm Not Mad", She Said To Me...

[sandyRoe]

...when I suggested that she'd hidden her purse again and forgotten where it was, after she said she couldn't find it.
She thinks too that I've given a key to a woman who comes in when we're out and steals her things, and hides soiled underwear under her mattress.
What to do?

[gness]

Sandy....how long can you carry on?....It's too hard on you...xx

[Bathsheba]

...sorry sandyRoe,....not quite with you.....??? Are you ok? x x

[Bathsheba]

Oh, forgive me,...looks like there's some history here I'm not familiar with.....sorry x x

[jno]

it sounds as if this is getting way more than an amateur can handle. It's not just the patience required, but the knowing what to do and how to do it, and that might be best done by those who've done it before. Is that an option?

[sandyRoe]

Bathsheba, I've found myself in the role of carer for my sister and it is grinding me down.
gness, I'm such a soft mug I'll do it until the men in white coats come to take me away.

[gness]

I hope not, .......I think you deserve some time to look after Sandy now......xx

[sandyRoe]

She's said she's not mad, meaning she can't see she's not well. But to call a social worker in is to say to her, you're wrong, you are ill, are 'mad'. It's hard to even think about

[Bathsheba]

Aaw, god luv ya Sandy,.....I feel for you. I've got a MIL who's had to go into a Care Home,...had same with my own father, ...+ was looking after 91yr old next door until recently.
Have you not got any other help? x x

[TonyV]

Sandy do you have / had a mental health care nurse assigned for home visits?

[TonyV]

Or can her GP help with your prodding to get a mental Heath care professional assigned so it comes from GP rather than you?

[sandyRoe]

There's only me. Day and night, 24-7. She has two daughters who have effectively dumped this on me. We never see one of them and the other takes her out for an afternoon once every two or three weeks.

[gness]

Sandy....I know how dreadfully hard it is.....when I couldn't cope any longer I felt awful...and so guiltly....

But it was the best thing in the end....for me...and for her...please think about, if not a home, then some help...please...xx

[Bathsheba]

It is terribly difficult, I know Sandy. My Dad was as stubborn as they come...shall never forget him saying "I don't need a home help.....I've got a daughter".
Please consider your own mental + physical health
x x

[sandyRoe]

I suppose contacting professional help will have to be done sooner rather than later. This popped into my mind just now. A TV play, The Boys from the black stuff, and a troubled mans talking to a priest. He asks his name and is told, Dan. 'I'm desperate, Dan.', he says.

[bunkmoreland]

Sandy,it's like reading all the sort of things my mother used to say. The people who come in and steal the toilet rolls and take the money from the pram. A carer's world is the lonliest nightmare there is. No end to the exhaustion,worry or tension. Please also think of yourself x

[jno]

amen to that, bunkmoreland

[Bathsheba]

Yep.....Bernard Hill.....can see him now,....white as a sheet. What a fab tragi-comedy that series was.....genius
x x

[gness]

Remember it well....Gi' us a job......

Think you have one, Sandy.....and you need help with it now.....would it help if I start nagging you?...xx

[Bathsheba]

My Dad was convinced the neighbours had ganged on up him + trained their dogs and cats to come + poo on his drive.

[Bathsheba]

I'm good at nagging too, allegedly.....;) x x