News0 min ago
Dating
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there’s nobody home."
I went over. Nobody was home.
A bachelor asks a computer dating agency to find him the perfect mate.
"I want a companion who is small and cute," he says.
"She must love water sports and enjoy group activities."
The computer says, "Marry a penguin."
A young couple park in Lovers Lane.
"It’s very peaceful," says the girl.
"Listen, you can hear the crickets."
"They’re not crickets," replies the boy.
"They’re zippers."
A college student picks up his date at her parent’s home.
He’s scraped together every penny he has to take her to a fancy restaurant but, to his dismay, she orders everything expensive on the menu.
Appetisers, lobster, champagne – everything.
Finally he says, "Does your mother feed you like this at home?"
"No" replies his date, "but then Mother’s not looking to get laid."
I went over. Nobody was home.
A bachelor asks a computer dating agency to find him the perfect mate.
"I want a companion who is small and cute," he says.
"She must love water sports and enjoy group activities."
The computer says, "Marry a penguin."
A young couple park in Lovers Lane.
"It’s very peaceful," says the girl.
"Listen, you can hear the crickets."
"They’re not crickets," replies the boy.
"They’re zippers."
A college student picks up his date at her parent’s home.
He’s scraped together every penny he has to take her to a fancy restaurant but, to his dismay, she orders everything expensive on the menu.
Appetisers, lobster, champagne – everything.
Finally he says, "Does your mother feed you like this at home?"
"No" replies his date, "but then Mother’s not looking to get laid."
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