How Do They Do It

[jennyjoan]

The husband of my late friend - he lives in America and married again - sends me a Christmas card every year.

Now his children send me one from wherever they are on holidays.

I don't even know these kids - what I am wondering how do they know I am alive Thanks

[murraymints]

unless you keep in touch, they don't, what nice people ..

[jennyjoan]

MM - I did think they had access to some sort of information book and find out. Perhaps they read the Irish News Online and look at the bereavements.

I couldn't tell you if they are nice people as I truly don't know them.

[Sqad]

JJ....what a good point.
This sort of thing always amazes me and i think it is a facet of modern life........
Take AB for example:
When someone dies, there are long threads of R.I.P's to people that they had probably never met and only know OF them....from the TV or authors .....but never ever "KNOWN ".
Get well soon....threads again to people that you have never met and really don't know them.
Recently over 300 posts on a thread to an outgoing Ed who perhaps only a handful of ABers have ever met.....no idea if he or she was 20 years old or 60 years old, well dressed or scruffy, tattooed ......good at his /her job or not.....but still gushing accolades. One ABer even posted that she already missed him/her.
I find it all very ........superficial.............and unnecessary....just like your post suggested JJ.

[jennyjoan]

ta Squad - I thought you were going tell me there was a way of finding out about.

I think they are wasting postage, time on me.

[Islay]

Its never a waste of time to do something nice, accept it with grace!

[Mamyalynne]

Hi JJ, I used to get these 'Round Robins' from the family of a friend in the USA, full of news of people I knew zero about - never understood the purpose of them.


Sqad , that was classed as a 'pun'.

[jennyjoan]

who do I accept it with grace from?

[jennyjoan]

This guy also sends me photo

Photo of Anne, Patricia, Mike, Goggle, Sprogglwe, Baby Tiernan, baby Liernan and so on on on

No those aren't the right names but do you think I remember them no no no

[woofgang]

For many years I used to get a christmas card from America addressed to someone who had never lived at my house.....my address, my postcode, all correct, just not my name. There was never a return address on it or any note or address inside, not even a surname of the sender. I thought it was a bit sad.

[New Judge]

"...how do they know I am alive Thanks"

Er... their (step) father may have told them.

[jennyjoan]

new judge - these children are my late friend's and her husband.

When he married again - he married a lady with two children of her own.

So it is the former children that send me.

[jennyjoan]

Just think NJ - how does the father even know

[Islay]

What does it matter? They are being nice, perhaps they thought you would be interested as you were a dear friend of their mothers - perhaps she talked about you often.
Accept it with the grace that it was sent in!!

[albaqwerty]

as Islay says, accept it with a smile.
Be grateful that folk you have never met are willing to pout pen to paper and pay for a stamp.
They may never meet you, you may never meet them, but it's a lovely gesture nonetheless.

[albaqwerty]

pout? oh dear lawd PUT ! xx :-D

[New Judge]

So your late friend was the mother of these children.

Whilst I accept that none of the three of them know whether you are still alive (unless you reciprocate his Christmas cards) it is highly likely he has spoken to them about you along the lines “This lady was a good friend of your mother’s and I still send her a Christmas card every year.” “Oh that’s nice” they might say, “We’ll send her postcards so that she can remember Mum through us”.

So no, they cannot be sure you are still alive. But since they have not heard that you have died it is reasonable to assume you are still shuffling about.

[albaqwerty]

''shuffling about''

what a wonderful way to put it NJ, I'm going to pinch that!! x

[Mamyalynne]

Many people find them bemusing, some even describe them as annoying. To me they just became what I expected every year, until just as quickly they stopped.

Good little write up here.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7785410.stm

[ducksie]

They'll keep writing until some day you have passed and next person to live there will let them know that you are no longer alive i guess, it's a small enough area anyway, i'm sure they have some links there and folk tell them you're still above ground if their chatting about who's sick, dying, dead or buried :) Just think oh lovely, nice post and not a bill or spam. You're a link to their Mam

[andy-hughes]

On the basis that there is enough grief in everyone's lives, I would accept all the nice things I can get - like this.