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Witty Sayings.

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Georgiesmum | 15:11 Sun 22nd Mar 2015 | ChatterBank
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What are the witty sayings you remember from your past? In the 1960's we had to take it in turns to make everyone tea at break time.After drinking his tea our boss used to say" Ah! Im like two men now, one dead and one dying!"
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i could crush a grape
When seeing a group of, in his opinion, inappropriately dressed people my old dad used to say "It's amazing the sights you see when you've no' got a gun"
There's nowt so queer as folk.
At school, I used to wear a long, ankle length skirt and my best friend used to wear a shirt (almost mini) skirt. Every time our head of house walked past, she used to say 'oh look, the long and the short of it'. To which we smiled sweetly and gave a fake chuckle. Can't think of any that I actually found genuinely witty!
Meant skirt, not shirt. Now that would've been short!
I think witty sayings sound funnier when an Irish person says them.My Mother - in - Law, a lovely Irish lady used to come out with some belters.When she saw someone who looked a bit lost, she would say, Look at her walking around like a tit in a trance. No idea what it meant but it always made me laugh.
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I used to work in a shop and when my boss had an awkward customer he often used to say to the under manager that the customer was "a DLO WOC!. It wasnt until some years later that i realised DLO WOC was "Old cow!" LOL.

some years ago whilst in an argument, i said to him "i am not going to engage in a battle of wits with you - you are only half qualified"
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Its more obvious when seen written down, but this was just spoken!
Barsel...have you ever heard 'look at that yolk, only good for staring at plane's
I'd engage in a battle of wits with you...., but I don't fight unarmed foes.
I haven't ummmm, is that one you've heard and you don't know what it means?
^ was that you at the other end of the saying, excel?? Nice to see you back though :)
No...it's one we say :-)
Oh I see. Does make you wonder where these sayings come from. So many silly questions too. My Mum used to say, Do you want a good hiding? I mean how many people would say Oh yes please? :-)
Or I'll give you something to cry about!!

(thank you, Nibble)
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Reminds me of what mothers used to say-Dont come running to me when you break your leg!"
"Moral pontification is often jealousy wearing a halo"

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

My mom used to say, 'You'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute young man'.
How is that possible ?. I never asked her though in case she tried to prove it.

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