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Mad Over Fifties Club.

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nungate | 19:27 Sat 18th May 2013 | Quizzes & Puzzles
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Owing to computer problems I've been having trouble getting the club open tonight.
So I hereby declare tonight's meeting of the Mad Over Fifties Club open.

The minstrels are up in the gallery playing their madrigals and toccattas, later on they have threatened to play their version of Aerosmiths' greatest hits (oh joy!)
The hot plate special is a beef casserole with dumplings so light and fluffy they have to be tied to the plates! As always there is a selection of volly vonts, canopies and other nibbles. The pudding trolley tonight we have a "pot luck" selection, simply choose which pud would like and it will be brought to you.
All of our usual treats and activities are available for members use so feel free to indulge in whichever past time takes your fancy (just so long as it is legal)
Tonight's tailcock is a special tribute in honour of Excel's Grandma who sadly passed away earlier in the week. He himself has requested it and we are honoured to oblige. Ladies and gentlemen tonight's tailcock is "Grandma's Goodnight Kiss" a delightful distillation which I'm certain will be enjoyed by our members. I hope we will all raise our glasses in a toast to Excel and his dear Grandma.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

carriages at midnight.
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Raise the buckets in honour of Excel's gran; at least it's not the banana balls-up, though the wine was first glass and I was wearing that La Tache on my upper lip for a few days.

So what for the riffle:


Six Han-Fu Noodles
Two Logs
One Ash Tray
One bead necklace, only two beads
Two Aspirin
One syringe and no needles
One Latex Glove
Two blocs of peat
One candle light bulb
One Moat drawer and gate
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Evening DT, I thought I was here all alone, the laptop has been giving me grief tonight.
Queenie is cockahoop as her favourite rider has just won the grand prix, so once she comes back down to Earth she will be along soon.
How's you day been? I had time with Mum and today she got to me, hasn't done that for a while.
Good evening your nungateship, good to see that you have resolved your computer problem, I always find that a swift clout with a 2lb ball pien engineers hammer almost always resolves certain computer problems !.
For the roffle I have a pair of S.U. carbs suitable for a 1967 Mini Cooper S ( floats knackered ) and 8 empty Champagne bottles that would make lovely candle holders. Also that beef casserole sounds Delicious.
Is Igor about ?, I'd love a bucket of 'Grandma's Goodnight Kiss ' to toast excels dear departed Grandma.
Hello and good evening all. x

A toast to Excelsior's grandmother! Cheers!

well a bucket of tailcock will help on the mater front.......mine is just straight out of it.....some age regression going on (not today though). Working today on this consultancy project, chinese gone down and now the tailcock (wine).
Nun .....sorry I've not been of late ..but as you will remember I last brought along big Brenda..my ex tag team mate..she'd been ill and needed cheering up..Well we went bungee jumping and as you had those HORRID fishy things it was of the cliff and not the moat...Brenda was a tad scared so we did it in tandem...I jumped on her back and over we went..but the lackey band snapped and into the drink we went...we shouted for Igor but you had those car races and didn't hear us above the noise....swim for it Brenda I said...so off we went..but there he was waiting on the shore with his band of merry men ..him that ossifer and as I'd lost me sparkly on the way down..bang to rights lewd and libidinous behaviour ..Brenda would have been ok had she not body slammed him..ended up in parkhurst a month apiece..it was horrid not a tailcock or volly in sight...I eventually got out and after hitching a lift on the ferry from an old fan..made it here...Brenda is still in as she lost it when faced with another bowl of gruel for Tea...the chef will be fine once he's off the respirator...God I'll have one of those granny things Igor and a plate of volleys ..I'm starved...has belle got my spare sparkly I feel quite naked without it..Tony here yet ? ..slurp...ahh good granny thingy...thanks Igor think I'll have anuvver and go find belle...
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Hi Tony, I agree, men and machinery ought to be struck every now and then just to keep them in order .....

Igor will along shortly with the buckets and glasses
runs in and out of every room in the towers SCREAMING

can I have a small bucket of Tailcock please
clank .. clank .. clank .. glasses tinkle, buckets bang [i

I am here Madame, shall I pass around the drinks??

Plant will be around shortly with the trays of nibbles .......

[i] I bet she hasn't even advertised for a proper butler ]
sounds like it should be a large one, Queenie.....
Who's won then queenie ?.
Hi ya minty, sorry to hear that about your mate Bertha, however another month or two in the slammer won't hurt her I'm sure that she would be glad of the weight loss !.
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Lovely to see you Minty, glad you could make it, was late myslef opening up, but I don't think anyone noticed ... Belle has your spare sparkly in the Ladies retiring room, you know the way don't you?
Ah, here's Igor......Plant too with the nibbles....

Queenie stop charging around the Towers, it is most unseemly....

Ah, Igor, the ad for a "proper butler" is in this week's edition of The Lady magazine......you are the only member of staff here at the Towers who was not found through The Lady ..........
The Guy in my AV Tony. Tai Woffinden won. He is 2nd in the world championship 1 point separates him from the leader....next round 2 weeks Cardiff......I'll be there!!!
I've been through a Lady......can't remember her name though.
Ah righto then queenie, have you warned Cardiff about your arrival next week ?.
Good man DT, dosn't help things to remember their names, keeps them on their toes I think !.
2 weeks Tone....next week is too early. Yeah the people I know there are fully aware of my arrival :)
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They are digging the defences in Cardiff as we speak Tony.

DT. I said "The Lady" not "a" lady .....
That's better..thanks belle...slurp....Tony Tony there you are....it was like shawshank in there tone I sent you a visiting order ..must have got lost in the post ?? I even missed the smelly goats.. although one or two of the guards did remind me of old Billy....did ya miss me tone ?? Did ya ?......Igor over here please.....volleys are great....poor Brenda is on the bread and water in solitary...not a good way to go drowned in a vat of gruel though...chef only doing his best I suppose....thanks Igor.....slurp.....

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