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Mad Over Fifties Club

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nungate | 21:07 Sat 08th Dec 2012 | Crosswords
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Jammies on! Welcome to the Mad Over Fifties Pyjama Party!

Tonight's Tailcock, the "Nightcap" a potent brew guaranteed not to send you to sleep (at first anyway). In addition to the usual selection of horses doovers and volly vonts, tonight's "hot plate" will be a delicious Mince and dumpling pie (courtesy of the Hairy bikers, thank you) also on the pudding trolley is a delicious fruit crumble and custard.

The minstrels will be back in the gallery playing a selection of mardigals and fugues and as a special treat, some lullabies and later on their interpretaion of the greatest hits of ZZ Top. For your further delight, we bring you at great expense the Performing Penguin Parade of Mr. Percival Potter! Who will be performing outside on the newly refurbished ice rink! A real treat indeed.

For the rofl I offer: 1 cat grooming brush (unused)
Pair of ice skates - one with a blunt blade
a cushion and a tie to attach it to the "derriere" in case
of slippage on the ice.

Carriages or sleighs will arrive at midnight.

Welcome to all who dare enter the portals on Nungate Towers
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I cannot believe it! I've just downed a plate of mince and dumplings! And to think I could have waited and had yours.
Manners - good even mine host. Here, have a malteser while I get me coat off. It's not got much fluff on it
Good evening maam and all that may enter your stately pile, a bucket of '' Nightcap '' would not go amiss maam and a plate of erm hotplate please.
For the rofile I have 7 geese a not laying one half of an Easter egg and an headlight bezzle suitable for a 1959 Vauxhall Cresta.
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Hello Mammar, a fluffy maltie? I may just hang on to it for later, I shall just tuck it into the pocket of my dressing gown. Fancy a "nightcap" I'll give Igor a call and he'll fetch some directly.
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Evening Tony, paisley patterned jammies I see.............
Yes I borrowed them of that hippy chick Humbersloop, look good don't you think.
And in this festive Asda carrier bag, may I produce for the riffle:
One red Astra, only slightly dented
One Chieftain tank, barely scratched
27 metres of barbed wire and
An M.O.D. sign advising "No Entry - Combat Exercise in Progress"
Cor I want that Chieftain Tank can that be arranged maam.
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Very dapper indeed Tony, ah, here's Igor with your bucket, slainte!
Thought about wearing my pink negligiggle but since it has turned so cold, decided to stick with the wincyette (?). Do you like the pattern of sheep on them?
Oh glory I forgot it was Naughty Nightie week.
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The barbed wire could prove useful, Mammar, I hope I win it.
Yes I do maam, although I do prefer goats !.
'Ang on - what's this lurking in the bottom of the bag? A pair of me old Dad's long johns with a convenient back flap. Does that qualify, my dear sir? They are a delicate 50 shades of grey.
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If you are in need of some night attire Mammar, please see Belle Epoque in the Ladies retiring room, she has a selection of suitable raiment for tonight's extravaganza
No thank you. I'll stick to the long johns or maybe they'll stick to me. Whichever.
Mammar they suit you very well.
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Tres chic, Mammar
Fetching, what?
Tony, is it only thee and me what have braved the cold this e'en?
(Wonders if Igor has gone to the North Pole for my bucket of Nightcap)
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I hear the rattle of his chains now Mammar...............
Evening nungate. So pleased to be here. Really fancy a Nightcap but not sure if it will go with my eau de nil silk jammies.The fleecy tartan dressing gown rather spoils the effect but it is cold on that broom in December.

Have a few things for the riff-raff but will wthdraw my half an Easter egg, (dark choc) as I do not wish to compete with Tony. Still have an inside- out umbrella, a pigeon feather (couldn't avoid the flock in the dark), a fully charged Fairy Wand and a bag of meal worms.
Good evening Miss Daisy, may I say your looking rather fetching tonight, come join me on the sofa. Igor a ladies bucket for Miss Daisy if you please.

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