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My Friend

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marval | 17:50 Fri 22nd May 2015 | Jokes
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My friend is really depressed at the moment with his job working at the Fanta factory. I’ve been told he just stands at the end of the production line and doesn’t talk to anyone.
I don’t know what to say to him. He just keeps bottling things up.

My friend wouldn't believe me when I said there was a 'Q' in Kwik Fit.
So he went down there and had to wait an hour and a half for two tyres.

I am going to retire.
If I don't, my car won't get very far.

I asked for chicken drummers, and I was given pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs.
Where are the feathery musicians I requested?

I stole an oven a couple of hours ago.
I'm still waiting for the heat to die down.

The traffic lights are broken at the end of my road again.
No change there then.

My friend is so fat he can't even get into his local chemist.
I think he's too big for his Boots.

Vanish have just brought out a new product called Ground Remover.
The results are flawless.

You'll find me using two keyboards at once.
I like to stereotype.

I have just cleaned the garage with my boyfriend.
He was hard to pick up and his hair is now full of oil, but he made a smashing broom.

I've been spending too much time on the computer and I think there's a chance the constant slouching could lead to back pain.
But ah well, it's just a hunch.

I have just finished a book on Mongolian literature. It was okay, I guess. It had its prose and Khans.







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