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| I don't attack people. I'm all stalk and no action. I bet Dracula does all his shopping online, just so he can keep clicking on "your account." I rubbed a magic lamp and wished for the genie not to... |
| I'm often accused of eavesdropping. I just wish they'd have the guts to say it to my face I was telling a funny gag in the garden today, but the punch line was greeted with silence. Later on, my... |
| Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sails went through the roof. My driving instructor told me, never brake if there's an animal in the road. You should have seen the look on the... |
| I followed this white bird with really long legs home the other night. Police are doing me for storking. As a Kid I hated losing, so I played with myself. If you ever get attacked by a tiger just... |
| So I've just left school and i'm starting my A-level exams next week. But at the minute that's a small problem! This year a new boy joined in the year below me from an all boys school (which explains... |
| Well I do. I've just spilt beetroot juice all over my kitchen carpet and as I can't bend (arthritic back) I've just had an interesting half hour trying to clean it up! Good job I can laugh as well. Go... |
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