Groan

[marval]

A jelly baby walks in to a bar and starts talking to a smartie.

After a few beers the smartie says: 'A bunch of us are heading to that new club. Fancy tagging along?'

'No thanks, 'the jelly baby replies. 'I’m a soft centre- I always end up getting my head kicked in.'

'Don’t worry, 'the smartie assures him. 'I'm a bit of a hard case I'll look after you.'

'OK!' grins the jelly baby. So they go to the club.

After a few beers, three lockets walk in. They take one look at the jelly baby and start beating him up, and then walk off laughing.

'I thought you were going to look after me! 'Gasps the jelly baby, rubbing his bruises.

I was, 'replies the smartie. But those lockets are flipping menthol.'

[adam76]

The A406 is enjoying a pint in his local when the M25 walks in and, as usual, starts hassling him. Buy me a pint... get me some food... stop crying... blah blah blah...
Half an hour later the M25 is still hassling him and bragging about how hard and big he is(!) when a thin red strip of road wanders in. At which point the M25 darts out the back.
The thin red-strip has a pint and leaves, after which the M25 timidly returns back in.
"Wow" starts the A406, "What the heck was that all about? I thought you were all double hard!"
"yeah" says the M25, "but that guy was a cycle path."

I thank you, I'm here all week.

[didoatwork]

LOL. You are on form tonight!

[wildwood]

You're both bonkers. lol :-)

[marval]

Good one adam

[starone]

Two very good plays on words.