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A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing “FREE KITTENS”...
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When asked in a pub quiz a while ago " Do you have a vulva?" My sons friend quite innocently said " Nah mate, I got a D reg Orion"....
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PENIS VAN LESBIAN --- A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right...
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, He...
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Two successful businessmen in the centre of townwere sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop... As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I...
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What is the one tongue twister you like?
Besides the peasant plucker, I much like "Polish it behind the door" said three times quickly.
What's yours? And thanks in advance....
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.There is this bloke who has a 25 inch penis. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dic* smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he...
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I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.' I upset the wife's mother the other Guy Fawkes Night. I fell off the fire. She told...
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I was due for a smear test with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's surgery to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am . I had...
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What's the difference between a postman and a postwoman? A few letters. Famous Last Words Anne Boleyn: "Henry! I am NOT giving you head!" I once went on an 18-30 holiday, which was fun, but 12yrs is...
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A man is walking behind his wife and says: "Baby, your arse is getting so fat, it's looking like a washing machine." The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the man is asking...
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... she's going to kill me of I call her a dog one more time.
I'm not scared though. Her bark is worse than her bite....
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any reasonable offer condlsidered
having to sell due to unforeseen circumstances...
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My aunt Kia used to own a furnature shop .Every time I passed I used to shout Hi Kia...
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A woman’s cooking had always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as she prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of...
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....has been telling me an exaggerated story about when she was in Cawker, Kansas, in the United States - and visited the largest ball of string in the world
it was quite a yarn...
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... on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer...
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This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore....
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.....is coming home from a business trip tomorrow.
As a hopeless romantic, I really want to show her that I simply can't live without her.
I haven't washed the dishes for ten days....
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John was talking to his fiancée, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he said excitedly....
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