| Whatever happened to the 'whatever happened to' thread ? |
| An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.... |
| After a group of us had negotiated the narrow steep stairs up to the top of the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam last week, I heard an American lady comment thus:- "They really ought to put an elevator... |
| I hate being a Window cleaner I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I considered quitting my job in the electronics factory today. But I have decided to solder on. I asked the barber if he... |
| I used to have a job at a stationary firm, but I resigned as I felt it wasn't going anywhere I own a shop selling 'CLOSED' signs. We haven't had a single customer. What is it about people who repair... |
| Insurance Excuses "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air and his head went through the... |
| ...and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to... |
| Boy- The principle is so dumb Girl- do you know who i am? Boy- no Girl- i am the principles daughter Boy- do you know who i am? Girl- no Boy- good (walks away)... |
| 3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the... |
| Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up* Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're... |
| Tonyav and SunnyDave are at the urinals when one glances at the other and notices his friend's willy is twisted like a corkscrew. 'wow!' tonyav gasps. 'I've never seen one all curly like a pig's tail... |
| It is really busy. He's barging through the queue with his hand up in the air shouting "Miss, Miss, Miss, give me three condoms" "Don't you DARE 'Miss' me!" retorts the sales assistant. "Best make it... |
| ...and take you to bed and have my way with you.You will groan,moan,and beg me to stop.I'll exhaust you and leave you weak for days. I am THE FLU... |
| From the moment I saw you I wanted to be inside you. I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen moving as I move Mmmmmmmmmm... I love my new shoes... |
| Put up a half decent joke on here that may be smutty, but no worse than a lot of the others, and it gets removed.....The censorship is going far too far with this new desk-ed. |
| *If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn? *Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon? *What do you call a male lady bird? *When a dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it. *Why didn't... |
| ...and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.'... |
| French authorities have discovered that it is not the real Mona Lisa displayed in the Louvre. It's just a painting of her. I've discovered the secret of life. Breathing. The rulers of the Ottoman... |
| I saw a dwarf carrying a TV back to his car earlier. 'Jesus' I said, 'Can you manage that Plasma Telly ok on your own mate?' 'Haha you cheeky bugger' he exclaimed 'Its a bloody Kindle!'... |
| ...looking for an unusual pet as a companion. The store owner suggested a centipede. " What sort of a companion would a centipede be?" the man asked. "This is a most unusual centipede, the store owner... |
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