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sherrardk | 21:19 Tue 27th Jun 2017 | ChatterBank
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I've recently noticed a man who appears to be homeless hanging about the village. He catches the bus from town (my son says he's seen him in town). I have said hello to him each time I've seen him as it's what I do when I pass people (usually the same people). I was thinking that next time I see him I would invite him round to my house for some food and a hot drink (not a proper meal, maybe something warm like a toastie or some soup). I wouldn't invite him in but I would explain why (like I've got children and I don't know you from a hole in the road) - there's a bench outside so he could sit down. I know I could buy him something from the shop but I thought this would be nicer - good idea or bad idea?
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I can see your dilemma, if you have a good idea where he hangs out perhaps take something to him rather than lead him to your front door.
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I don't know where he hangs out, I see him when he gets off the bus. Poor sod looks really down on his luck but I have seen him eating stuff that he bought from the shop so he must have some money. I just thought he might welcome being able to sit and eat somewhere where he is 'allowed' to be.
I understand and it's a lovely thought, have a chat with Husband , family - see what they think.
Do you have a coffee shop near where you see him sherr. If so take him there and both have a drink and a snack. Get to know him and feel comfortable with him before you think about inviting him round the house...Well, that's what I would do. Lovely and thoughtful of you x
Sher I admire your sense of wanting to help out but be careful.
By all means give him something to eat and drink but find somewhere away from your home. You could end up with a real problem. You don't know the man, you have children.
I applaud your kind thinking, but caution against letting him know where you live without knowing anything about him. By all means offer him some assistance, but protect yourself and your family until you know more.
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I've already spoken to himself and is all up for it, boy #2 thinks it's a good idea but I'll talk to the other kids too but I'm pretty sure they'd be ok about it (they'd probably go a step further and invite him in for a shower).
Please don't. You could put your family at risk. But help. Chat. Get him something to eat. Say something like: "I'm getting a sandwich from the supermarket. Would you like one? He might ask for a brolly. Learn something about him. You might be able to help in other ways. Be Christian (or Sikh/ Muslim/ Buddist/ Humanist) but that doesn't mean taking unecessary risks with your family or your home.
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Advice taken on board - maybe I'll try and engage him in conversation and try to get the measure of him. There's no coffee shop and I don't want to make him uncomfortable but it's an odd place to hang out if you're homeless.
Too much too soon in my opinion as your opening line says "recently". Not long ago there was a case in the papers where a family was murdered by a homeless person they had tried to help. I would keep him as far away from my home and children as posssible until I knew more about him and his circumstances.
Sorry Sher I'm a slow typist. Had not read your last post. BD
I would initially say it's a great idea, assistance for the man and a lesson in compassion for you're children., but on reflection you really know nothing about this mans situation/background,by all means continue to converse with him but best not to give details of you're home/ family. Sorry , haven't we all become so wary now :-(
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Because I live in a small bubble I forget that horrible stuff does happen, I think that's why I asked on here (we seem to have a skewed view of things that lean towards the positive). He is probably perfectly fine but he could also have issues that I don't want near my children. I will continue to acknowledge his existence and I might, in the future, if I find out where he hangs out send himself out with some home cooked food for him. Thank you for being sensible when my heart had taken ove my head (usually I'm a hard hearted cow - maybe I'm coming down with something?).
Please don't put yourself and your family at risk! Help, but be wise. No home visit, no shower and, sorry, but you were wrong to ask your kids. You're the adult. You decide. It's almost moral blackmail and it's wrong.
Hard hearted , Really :-)
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Scooping - I get your concern but I only discussed it with my 13 year old son and I have also told him all of your thoughts. If he had had any doubts he would have said, they are encouraged to have their own opinions, but thank you for your thoughts.
// I wouldn't invite him in //

Why invite him at all then? You can buy him or take him whatever you like and he can sit on any public bench to eat it. Inviting him might make you feel better, but refusing him entry to your house would do him no favours. It's degrading.
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Yes, Naomi - I had considered that. I was torn between doing something nice and protecting my kids, I can see now that I hadn't thought it through at all. I wasn't considering doing anything to make me feel better, I just wanted to do something nice that might make him feel better for a little while but I am aware that anything I do might be patronising. Consequently, I will now do jack *** and will pretend he doesn't exist, I will say hello to him when he gets off the bus and carry on with my day. I just wanted to treat him the way I would want someone to treat one of my children if they found themselves in the same situation.
Sherrard, your choice.
We all seem go have reached a consensus - a good one I think. Gof Bless.

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