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British And Proud Of It

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venator | 07:15 Tue 17th Jun 2014 | ChatterBank
18 Answers
I've had enough of that pie faced Scotsman putting us English down - Just let him have his way and sail Scotland off into Scapa Flow!

Flanders & Swann had it about right. We should sing their hymn to Englishness whenever appropriate...


The English
(Flanders & Swann)

The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You'll find he's a stinker as likely as not

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Scotsman is mean as we're all well aware
He's boney and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salty porridge, he works all the day
And hasn't got bishops to show him the way

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Irishman now our contempt is beneath
He sleeps in his boots and he lies through his teeth
He blows up policemen or so I have heard
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third

The English are moral the English are good
And clever and modest and misunderstood

The Welshman's dishonest, he cheats when he can
He's little and dark more like monkey than man
He works underground with a lamp on his hat
And sings far too loud, far too often and flat

The English the English the English are best

wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

And crossing the channel one cannot say much
For the French or the Spanish, the Danish or Dutch
The Germans are German, the Russians are red
And the Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed

The English are noble, the English are nice
And worth any other at double the price

And all the world over each nation's the same
They've simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they've won
And they practice before hand which spoils all the fun

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

It's not that they're wicked or naturally bad
It's just that they're foreign that makes them so mad
The English are all that a nation should be
And the pride of the English are Chipper and me

The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest
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Fire away, all the PC professional indignation merchants...

'British' for the time being includes Scotland, so, if you don't mind,
I will remain English and proud of it!
I like it. and I'm a welsh monkey. ;o)
And I'm a Scot.
I had forgotten this very good 1960s satire on xenophobia and bigotry by Flanders and Swann.
The title is "A Song Of Patriotic Prejudice"
Venator, you do know this is a spoof, don't you.
I'm confused, are you proud of being English or proud of being British?
The Scots as we know eat porridge with salt.
The Welsh all have leeks which isn't their fault.
The Irish have sayings which they sometimes let slip.
The English are proud with their stiff upper lip.
But all lumped together I hasten to say,
Is what makes us strong in this tight knit UK .
I can see the appeal for the Scots. I'm a Welshman and proud of it. I accept the ultimate trump card that we are a principality of England and her monarch but our nationalists have worsened more things than improved. Under the banner 'Plaid Cymru', the Welsh Assembly have offered grants and student loan guarantees to freshers in Welsh universities, secured major business contracts for our economy (Amazon, Airbus, BBC filming studios...) but have doubled the cost of writing ANYTHING in public because we must have the Welsh translation from the English we all speak like road/traffic signs, official documents from govt/bank/nhs... And fund an entire Welsh speaking TV channel S4C that is watched by AT MOST 2% of the population and some programmes had so few viewers, the official statistic records viewers at 0. It's watched most by rugby fans for league games and get this.... it offers an English speaking commentary!! Talk about pot kettle black.

Scotland however are in a Union and could survive as a small economy outside the UK but severing transport, labour, family and financial arteries by placing a border in our island would bleed badly IMO. Even if the new Scotland could stop the hemorrhage and smooth the transition, they would be left with a low population, low GDP (comparatively to rest of Europe) and finite natural resources such as arable land, fishing supplies and oil reserves. Long term Scotland should think very carefully about the situation the place their grandchildren in.

Anyway venator, you can stick your f**king chariots up your arse ;)


///The English the English the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest///
;-)
Well said, whiskeryron.
that's lovely venator .!
There you go Venator :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkF_XpA5P48
Own goal there, venator. Your own prejudices may be showing..
If "all of the rest" are worth not quite tuppence, then taking global population figures in 1960 of approximately 3 billion implies that each non-English citizen is worth 0.00000000067 old pence. But an Englishman is "worth any other at double the price", placing one Englishman's value at not more than 0.00000000134 d. It would seem that Flanders and Swann don't rate the English very highly either.
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Question Author
It was a spoof, and I'm pleased to see how few, if any, people took it otherwise. I don't think Flanders & swann did much really serious stuff...

I'm of Scottish descent myself - traced back to Edinburgh in 1600s.

I was gifted a DNA test, and have close matches in Scotland and Scandinavia.
and wanted by the Thames Valley police.
Question Author
Sorry, I have a completely clean sheet.

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