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Officialdom - Your Worst Examples Please
26 Answers
What are the worst comments you have received from officialdom? There must be some belters out there. I will start with two of mine. When my mum died I wrote to Vodaphone to cancel her contract and enclosed a photocopy of her death certificate. They sent a letter to my mum[i which started
[i]Dear Mrs M, we are sorry to hear of your death].
The second relates to someone I know who is terminally ill and was trying to sort out an issue on the phone with the Inland Revenue. She pointed out she needed the matter dealing with urgently as she was terminally ill and didn't have long to live. The oik on the phone replied "I am sorry to hear that and I hope you get better soon." Ouch!
(The idea for this question was shamelessly stolen from Scrivens)
[i]Dear Mrs M, we are sorry to hear of your death].
The second relates to someone I know who is terminally ill and was trying to sort out an issue on the phone with the Inland Revenue. She pointed out she needed the matter dealing with urgently as she was terminally ill and didn't have long to live. The oik on the phone replied "I am sorry to hear that and I hope you get better soon." Ouch!
(The idea for this question was shamelessly stolen from Scrivens)
Answers
When we get a new resident in our Care Home, we always get the chiropodist to check their feet and toe nails. When he arrived my Manager called me to take the chiropodist to our new gentleman, I was in the midst of telling her that he wont be needing a chiropodist when she cut me down stating rules and procedures! Ok, no problems, the chiropodist smiled as did the...
11:31 Fri 18th Apr 2014
When my father died I sought probate for his will myself. The form I had to fill in for the Probate Office had a section requiring details of how much Income Tax my father had paid during that tax year. As I didn't know the figure, I went to the tax enquiry office with my father's death certificate, his will (naming me as executor), ID to prove that I was that named executor and the Probate form. I explained that I couldn't get probate until I knew how much tax my father had paid. They informed me that they would be happy to tell me but only after I had got probate!
Also:
I once spent two years trying to get the East Midlands Gas Board to reconnect a gas fire for me. (They had disconnected it as unsafe it after discovering a blocked flue. My landlord had remedied the problem and I simply wanted it connected again). They repeatedly failed to turn up for appointments or turned up with the wrong part. After two winters of having to use an expensive fan heater instead of a gas fire, I received a letter from them. Was it an apology? No, it was notification of a criminal prosecution against me for MY failure to get a faulty gas appliance fixed and reconnected!
Also:
I once spent two years trying to get the East Midlands Gas Board to reconnect a gas fire for me. (They had disconnected it as unsafe it after discovering a blocked flue. My landlord had remedied the problem and I simply wanted it connected again). They repeatedly failed to turn up for appointments or turned up with the wrong part. After two winters of having to use an expensive fan heater instead of a gas fire, I received a letter from them. Was it an apology? No, it was notification of a criminal prosecution against me for MY failure to get a faulty gas appliance fixed and reconnected!
Also:
The Woolwich sent me a letter notifying me that they were going to repossess my house because I'd not been paying the mortgage. That was hardly unsurprising as I'd handed them a cheque for over £30k several months earlier, paying the mortgage off!
When they eventually admitted their error and credited the funds against my account, they then demanded more than £200 in interest to cover the period between me giving them the cheque and when they deducted it from what I had owed them. (It was only the threat of me handing the story to the press that made them change their mind!).
Over a decade later I tried to sell a small piece of my garden to my neighbour, only for our solicitor to tell me that there was still a charge registered against the property by the Woolwich!
The Woolwich sent me a letter notifying me that they were going to repossess my house because I'd not been paying the mortgage. That was hardly unsurprising as I'd handed them a cheque for over £30k several months earlier, paying the mortgage off!
When they eventually admitted their error and credited the funds against my account, they then demanded more than £200 in interest to cover the period between me giving them the cheque and when they deducted it from what I had owed them. (It was only the threat of me handing the story to the press that made them change their mind!).
Over a decade later I tried to sell a small piece of my garden to my neighbour, only for our solicitor to tell me that there was still a charge registered against the property by the Woolwich!
NatWest Bank - my Mum & Dad had a virtually unused joint account when he died - it had about £200 in it.
No need for Probate because everything just went straight to my Mum and was under the limit.
I asked the bank to close the account & give my mum the balance in her own account - providing Death Cert etc - but got a letter saying that "they must have signatures from all parties to close an account".
I offered a seance, but they were unconvinced ...
So I took the entire balance plus a fiver out with the account with my Mum's Debit Card (which they really should have blocked - but hadn't).
Suddenly (with us owing them money) the need for a second signature was magically waived ... but I did string them along for quite a while :)
No need for Probate because everything just went straight to my Mum and was under the limit.
I asked the bank to close the account & give my mum the balance in her own account - providing Death Cert etc - but got a letter saying that "they must have signatures from all parties to close an account".
I offered a seance, but they were unconvinced ...
So I took the entire balance plus a fiver out with the account with my Mum's Debit Card (which they really should have blocked - but hadn't).
Suddenly (with us owing them money) the need for a second signature was magically waived ... but I did string them along for quite a while :)
Morning, MrsO....Hope you're on the up?...x
Some months after MrG died Tesco cut off my broadband despite everything now being in my name and I was paying. The reason was that MrG hadn't paid since March....when he died.....☺
After going round more houses than are owned by MPs I asked for a supervisor to sort it out.
She was very apologetic....Sorry to hear that my husband had died....Acknowledged my payments but something somewhere hadn't been changed to my name.....
Will you correct that now and reconnect me please?....I stupidly asked.
I can do that for you, she said......but only after I have spoken to your husband to get his agreement to the changes.
The friend who was visiting when this took place swears there is a now Tesco supervisor with no eardrums but newly gained knowledge of swear words in the Irish language.....☻
Some months after MrG died Tesco cut off my broadband despite everything now being in my name and I was paying. The reason was that MrG hadn't paid since March....when he died.....☺
After going round more houses than are owned by MPs I asked for a supervisor to sort it out.
She was very apologetic....Sorry to hear that my husband had died....Acknowledged my payments but something somewhere hadn't been changed to my name.....
Will you correct that now and reconnect me please?....I stupidly asked.
I can do that for you, she said......but only after I have spoken to your husband to get his agreement to the changes.
The friend who was visiting when this took place swears there is a now Tesco supervisor with no eardrums but newly gained knowledge of swear words in the Irish language.....☻
-- answer removed --
Twice I have had the "must have the account holders permission to discuss this" when the account holder was in fact dead and that is why I was phoning. Once with my Mum and then again with my husband. In both cases I said "that will be difficult, they've been cremated"
Not to excuse it but I think that some days, after the employee has dealt with the millionth call centre phone call, the mouth disconnects itself from the brain. In the first instance, I got an immediate and heartfelt apology. In the second instance (HOME SERVE) the idiot stuck to his guns as did his supervisor. I just let it go until they wrote to my late husband asking for payment as the DD had failed, then phoned the late payment department and let them have both barrels.
Not to excuse it but I think that some days, after the employee has dealt with the millionth call centre phone call, the mouth disconnects itself from the brain. In the first instance, I got an immediate and heartfelt apology. In the second instance (HOME SERVE) the idiot stuck to his guns as did his supervisor. I just let it go until they wrote to my late husband asking for payment as the DD had failed, then phoned the late payment department and let them have both barrels.
A few years back my parents realised that they had been overpaid Child Tax Credit and informed HMRC. The error was eventually tracked down to an underestimate of my Mum's salary. For whatever reason the previous year's figure, and that year's one, had been lost, so HMRC decided to enter a "reasonable guess" for what my Mum's annual salary actually was. Their guess? £1. Yes, really. One single, solitary, pound earned in a whole year. Right... I think the terms of the repayment amount to their clawing back all the money they accidentally overpaid us buy, plus a bit more on top, although I think Mum and Dad put the money in a savings account so we might end up having squeezed a few extra pounds out of the mess. Still pretty stupid, though.
* * * * * * * *
Not so much officaldom, but still... in claims for Income Support, it's often important to know who the father of the children is. This has led to some interesting tales, apparently. Not really got a chance to extract many out of Mum yet, but she told me of one claimant who couldn't identify the father because "he still had his bike helmet on at the time"...
* * * * * * * *
Not so much officaldom, but still... in claims for Income Support, it's often important to know who the father of the children is. This has led to some interesting tales, apparently. Not really got a chance to extract many out of Mum yet, but she told me of one claimant who couldn't identify the father because "he still had his bike helmet on at the time"...
When we get a new resident in our Care Home, we always get the chiropodist to check their feet and toe nails. When he arrived my Manager called me to take the chiropodist to our new gentleman, I was in the midst of telling her that he wont be needing a chiropodist when she cut me down stating rules and procedures!
Ok, no problems, the chiropodist smiled as did the "legless" resident when I announced to him: "good day sir, the Chiropodist has just come to have a look at your feet" Followed by the sound of my manager running up the corridor and under her breath I could still here her saying "Ian. you bastard, where are you!!?"
Ok, no problems, the chiropodist smiled as did the "legless" resident when I announced to him: "good day sir, the Chiropodist has just come to have a look at your feet" Followed by the sound of my manager running up the corridor and under her breath I could still here her saying "Ian. you bastard, where are you!!?"
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