My Mum Passed Away

[jack daniels]

I've not been on here for a little while and i'm in tears writing this. My mother suddenly passed away after having a heart attack, being in a coma and losing her fight to live 3 days later - i'm in disbelief as it happened so quick. The family didn't even have the chance to see her awake but we spoke to her as if she could hear us since that was what we were told. It's been a case of being on auto-pilot/zombie like, going through making/receiving phone calls, seeing people that came to pay their respects (feeding & watering them) making funeral arrangements and then going straight back to work and having to deal with mothers day.......................all in 2 weeks. I'm exausted and finding it hard to deal with. she was only in her mis 70's

[Mamyalynne]

I am so sorry to read this, you can be sure she knew you were there - the shock for all of you is dreadful.

Lean on each other.

Accept my condolences.x

[murraymints]

oh Jack so sorry to read of your sad news...xx

[jourdain2]

My very, very deepest sympathies go to you. My mum was even quicker and totally unexpected and in her early 70's, so I have a good idea of the shock you are feeling. That bit will pass and will be eased by all the practical things you are having to do. You will get through the immediate aftermath and the funeral - I guarantee. It is then that the reality sets in.

The more you talk to people and explain, the better it is for you. Please don't be brave and bottle it up. 'I'm coping!' was my mental mantra - and I paid for it. We are all here for you any time, please use this outlet; so many in the same boat. I lost my mum in 1990 - but still cried in church on Sunday.

Of course you are exhausted, treat yourself gently, you will find unknown reserves. Sent with love. I am thinking of you. xx

[DTCwordfan]

sorry to hear this, jack, and shock that this is - and where you are... it is natural to question why, why, why and more questions and indeed may be even anger.

The good news, if it is that, most of us have been through that....concentrate on all the good times and what she brought you.....

The rest will fall in place and there is a lot of experience here to take you through this.

In short, your questioning, exhaustion and emotional drainage is more than natural. Hod it all in there...chat, ask, and share and comfort will come. When? That is a difficult question but it will come as you emerge from these first phases of grief.

[pixie374]

So sorry, Jack xx you take care xx

[marval]

I am very sorry to hear your news. You as a family will get through this together.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xx

[Peter Pedant]

sorry to hear of all this Jack
RIP your mum

[wolf63]

My thoughts are with you at such a sad time. X

[Old_Geezer]

Sorry to hear. Have an idea of what you are going through having had a parent die suddenly from a heart attack. It eases in time.

[Arksided]

Sorry to read of your loss Jack, my condolences to you and your family.

[Lie-in King]

I'm very sorry to read your sad news, Jack. My sincere condolences to you, your family & friends. x

[jack daniels]

Thank you for your replies - they are relating in some ways to me.
There are so many issues that ive been faced with - nasty/spiteful comments not made to our faces but heard in a round about way. Talk about trying to cope with your own grief without having this sort of thing thrown in for measure. I'm angry with so called 'family' members (not immediate thank god) and the saying of you get to know who your friends are is so true. My children took it quite badly too and seeing me upset didn't help. We have done things hoping it's how mum would have wanted but when my time comes - i don't want anything like this, just quick and painless hopefully. I realise that my family ned me and i need them so thats what i'll concentrate on

thank you again

Anna x

[jourdain2]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Patsy33]

So sorry to hear your sad news jack. Awful shock for you and your family. Think of what your Mum might say to you now at this sad time. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be so sad. It will take all long time to get over but a lot of us have been through it and you will find the strength to endure. Thinking of you at this difficult time. xx

[DTCwordfan]

Anna, therein is part of your strength in this, now and in your immediate future, your nearest and dearest, what is the best memories, recognition and the way forward for you on the immediate circle - and not those on the outside,

[naomi24]

x

[Mamyalynne]

Yes, concentrate on those you love and love you.

Brush aside anyone being negative and unhelpful.

Take care Anna.

[Ann]

Anna - please accept my love and sympathy on losing your dear Mum. I know how you are feeling as I lost my Mum suddenly too nearly 3 years ago. Although she was 90 she was so healthy, caring and kept all the family together. I found it so hard to lose her uneccessarily, due to a hospital infection after she had a fall. The failings at that hospital still continue to eat away at me but nothing will bring her back. The only way to cope is to think of the blessings in life your Mum brought you, and remember her with love. Time does heal, but always allow a little time for private grief on "special" days like birthdays and Mothering Sunday. I was like Jourdain I shed a few tears at church last Sunday especially as unbelievably two hymns which were chosen for the special Mothering Sunday service at our church happened to be ones we sang at Mums thanksgiving service! My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Take care Anna and God bless. Ann x

[silliemillie]

Thinking of you Anna, the same thing happened to me, my Dear Dear Dad was fine, even been to work that day when suddenly had a heart attack and died, he was only 53. I still miss him.

Please accept my love x

[chrissa1]

So sorry to hear your sad news. I send my condolences to you and your family. Chrissa xx