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Easy AOG. My dad left strict instructions that none of his three children were to be advised of his death until after his cremation. Arrogant to the last - did he imagine his only son would wish to turn up and pee on his ashes after his father left his family over twenty-five years previously and never contacted them again? Dead right I would!!!
Anyone can tell one side of any story. If I had been famous, my dad would have done the same.
Maybe you were blessed with a good man for a father - it appears that the Carr sons, and certainly myself - were not.
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