How Many Here Care For Someone With Memory Loss?

[Elina]

Just a query as to how many on here have partners or family members with this condition.

[Elina]

I only know of Dtc who cares for his mum.

[naomi24]

I have done.

[Elina]

You're constantly learning how to make things easier. I think you really need to put yourself in the persons position to really understand how hard things are.

[Elina]

Have you Naomi. How was your experience?

[maggiebee]

Yes, I take care of myself every day.

[Elina]

Is your memory quite bad Maggie?

[Elina]

I'm forgetful, but I'm talking extreme bad memory, those with diagnosed conditions.

[EDDIE51]

I have worked in a care home where all the residents had memory loss and dementia. I also had at times to care for my Mum when she could not even remember what happened 10 minutes ago.( though she could remember things that happened 30 years ago in detail)

[naomi24]

Elina, heart-breaking to watch a bright mind gradually deteriorate, the sufferer struggling and often becoming very afraid, and there’s nothing you can do except be patient and love and care for them. Life can be very cruel.

[Elina]

Hi Eddie, your experience with your mum echoes my family with my brother. He has limbic Encephelitis. There's a kind of grieving/ adaptation you go through remembering the person they were.

[Elina]

It is Naomi .. You're constantly learning. I've just returned from a doctor's appointment for myself & called at my mums & thought it would be good to ask my brother if he'd like to accompany me for a walk .. he said he would & started getting ready. I suddenly thought .. what if while I'm in with the doctor he forgets &*wonders what he's doing there! What I did in the end was I wrote a note ... xxx .. I'm in with the doctor .. won't be too long xxxx

[maggiebee]

No Elina, just being flippant. More forgetful - I'm terrible with people's names.

[janbee]

My late mother had Alzheimers. It was a very distressing time. She was in a really bad way at the end.

[EDDIE51]

Luckily my Mum never got to the point where she could not remember me, but I know that it is common. But if I asked her if my brother had visited, she would say 'No' even when I knew for a fact that he had. I had to make sure she had food and eat it with me present as she would always say she had had food even if she really had not eaten.
One sad aspect was that my Dad died a few years before my Mum, but she would always say 'he was just out shopping' and would be back soon.

[maggiebee]

Alzheimers is a cruel disease which affects the whole family, not just the sufferer. My daughter's father-in-law suffered and it was sad to see him go from a very talented engineer to not knowing where he was. Blessing was that he wasn't aware and kept his sense of humour - it was the family who suffered.

[Elina]

Me too Maggie.
Hi Jan .. sorry to hear that. I wondered just how many on here have/ have had personal experience of the condition.

[Bathsheba]

Hi Lina. Ditto here with late MIL. It was heartbreaking to watch her deteriorate from a smartly dressed immaculately presented lady to a bra-less, toothless blob in a chair in a care-home. :(
Good idea of yours re your brother and the note!

x x

[ubasses]

My mother has vascular dementia and sadly had to go into a Care Home quite early due to epileptic seizures. These days she sleeps most of the time, has to be moved with a hoist, and have everything done for her. Fortunately we struck lucky and found a fantastic place.

[Elina]

That's really sad Eddie. My dad died last year while my brother was in hospital after having a relapse .. that was hard .. having to tell him.
Maggie ... a sense of humour is crucial. The person with memory loss can get very embarrassed & joking about situations helps.

[EDDIE51]

My Dad had Alzheimer's, it was very quick onset. He had a part time paper round. One day he set off on his round and half way he just forgot who he was, why he was there, where he lived, everything. Only 2 years before he was the caretaker of a large school .