Sometimes The Leprechauns...

[gness]

...make me do things.

I answered the phone to one of those annoying voices from a far off land far too interested in how I am.....you know....

Him....Good morning...am I speaking to MrsG....and how are.....etc....

In my head the leprechaun turned him into my brother.....☻

Me....Look M***...I dealt with mum's corns....you deal with the piles, it's your turn!

Him...Err....MrsG....am I spea......

Me....I don't care if she won't rub the cream in...you do it!

Him.....Hello???...Helloooo???.....Mrs......

Me...Well if you tie her hands together with her tights while you do it she won't hit out at you.....

Him......Good morning, MrsG...........(10 out of 10 for persistence ☺)

Me....Then buy her another rubber ring to sit on and confiscate the knitting needles......

Him.....Gone!!!!...

I amuse myself in simple ways....☺

[anneasquith]

poor wee laddie...................that's someones son :)

[pixie373]

Lol! One thing that annoys salespeople on the phone is to say you are definitely going to buy - will ring them back this afternoon. Listen to them panic about their commission. I discovered that by accident.

[sunny-dave]

Oh tut ... :)

I'm still getting mileage out of my

"You have just called the Blankshire Police anti-terrorist hotline"

routine.

[alinic]

that made me laugh out loud, what a tonic!

[sandyRoe]

Are you sure it's not the devil makes you do it? :-)

[gness]

My mother always said he was in me, Sandy.....so you could be right...☻

[anneasquith]

ach! what did she know :)

[gness]

She knew everything, Anne....she told me so...often...... :-(

[jim360]

Yes... leprechauns... of course...

[jim360]

*calls up home to check if they have a spare room*

[sandyRoe]

Cobblers. They're too busy mending shoes to be getting up to devilment. As I said earlier, the devil will have had a hand in this. ☺

[gness]

Make sure the home has a bar, Jim....

Are they not busy looking for rainbow's end to bury gold, Sandy?

[aelmpvw]

good job it wasn't me calling gness, i would've made sense of the conversation

[gness]

Now that would have been fun, Ael....x

[hellywelly4]

Wonderful!

[Sparkles62]

Oh gness, you are awful, but I like you.
I had one the other day,
I said, "hold on a second" andput the phone down on the work top, then went and put the washing on the line.
He had gone when I returned, no patience these youngsters. Lol. X

[Hopkirk]

How it is done properly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50

[gness]

Hoppy...I've heard that before and just love it.....I'm good but nowhere near as good as that!

[gness]

I'm getting more and more of these calls.....I have just told him all about my mother's doctors appointment....her scurvy and in growing nails.....

The numbers show only on caller ID as 00111 or 00501.

A bit of googling shows it's some sort of internet scam.....and lots of people are being bothered by them.....so....

Ignore.....or let the Leprechauns take over my mind?....☺

[DTCwordfan]

A woman with the name of 'Gness' passed on and reported to the pearly gates.

An newly annointed angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're 'Gness; you're in the wrong place." So 'the woman known as Gness was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in.

Pretty soon, she became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, garden sheds, goat stalls, flush toilets, bathrooms and escalators, and Gness was becoming a pretty popular gal among the AB demons.

One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, garden sheds, goat stalls, bathrooms and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Gness is going to come up with next."

God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got Gness? That's a mistake; she should never have gotten down there; send her up here."

Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having her on the staff, and I'm keeping her."

God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send her back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a Barmaid or any lawyer?"