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I Like These Signs

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marval | 22:42 Thu 29th Dec 2016 | Jokes
6 Answers
1. On a ski lift in Taos, New Mexico. "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

2. Official sign near door: "Door Alarmed". Hand printed sign nearby: "Window frightened."

3. Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus (translation of the Greek): "Caution: Road Slippery from Grape juice."

4. A sign advertising a Companywide skiing race: "Let's see who can go downhill the fastest."

5. Sign in King's Canyon in California. "Slow Parking Ahead."

6. A billboard seen next to the highway, traveling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads: "Our hardware runs better without windows!"

7. Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago. Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.

8. Seen in a health food store: "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot."

9. "Children left unattended will be towed at parent’s expense."

10. I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant. The sign read: "Women are not served here. You have to bring your own."

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Sign on a camping shop in December:
Now is the winter of our discount tents.
There is a road called 'Evans Close' near me, someone has written under the name 'Hell's Nearer'.
Our fruit and vegetable place has "Children left unattended will be sold to the circus." It's a bit counter productive though, my granddaughter wanted me to leave her so she could be sold to the circus.
Sign stuck on the front door of the local Family Planning Clinic:

"Please Use Rear Entrance"

I never fail to be unreasonably amused by a sign on the road into Alderley Edge that says "Children Please Drive Slowly".
Sign on a shop door

PUSH
if that doesn't work
PULL
if that doesnt't work we're closed

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