Dread This

[jennyjoan]

My friend who was here about 3 years ago has informed me she is coming to me early 2017.

I don't want her as she never stops talking - either mobile or IPAD. She sits in my living room where I am watching TV.

AT the mo she has returned home from a holiday in Canada and I know she is busting her ass to get home to Ireland.

This friend is very Christian and thinks nothing of putting maybe 7 or 8 people at a time - so I really don't know what to do or say so she thinks everybody is like her. I could perhaps put her up for 2-3 days but not 7 days. I will end up in the asylum - I am so used to being on my own.

Another thing that annoys me - SHE tells me she is coming but never would say - is it okay with you - do you mind etc. Gawd

[gness]

Conne......don't be fretting about this.....just be nicely honest.....

Tell her you find having visitors too much now....which you obviously do... and if you like you can offer to find a nice B&B nearby and meet her for lunch/dinner if she's keen to be in the area.....x

[B00]

She's your friend??

By the sounds of it you can't stand the woman.

[woofgang]

just say no.

[anneasquith]

Conne, I agree with G ,if she is a true friend she will understand, it may be difficult for you to actually say how you feel, maybe write her a note ?

[jennyjoan]

Gness - she becomes indignant - "her words, but why do you not want me etc"

Think I may have stopped her and children coming in the past. She rang me up - would you take Martin, I said ok, next thing (she was chancing her arm) oh would take Nicky - I cracked up and said no, no way. Oh I thought you would say that - I will hire a house.

You know I have snubbed my relatives ie brother and niece not to come - she is just a very old school friend.

A week is too long for me deffo - I have told her I don't be well but it suits her to ignore me. Last time - I didn't cook one meal, she done it a cuppla times. I was really dry and dry - but it suited her to ignore.

A lot of times I am not assertive enough. This friend is pretty much a millionaire - they owned 9 butchers shops in their day but whilst kind - she is a tight as duck's ass.

[woofgang]

In the words of Disraeli, don’t apologise, don’t explain, just say I am sorry that won’t be possible.

[jennyjoan]

Murdo she is retired now so couldn't get away with saying that. Oh I will come another week.

I did phone her a cuppla weeks ago and I could sense - she was missing the Belfast accent - and I knew it was triggering her off. Sorry I made that phone call.

"she would say - oh if you are not well - I will come home and look after you. Gawd again LOL - sorry she is from here (Belfast)

[woofgang]

whatever she says you just say “I am sorry that won’t be possible"

[jennyjoan]

gness - she has loads of cousins but they don't want her - she rings them up - Oh I may call up. Quickly cousins say - oh no, we will meet you in town.

[ummmm]

Jeez..

Why, yet again, did you bring money into it?

Just tell her no.

[Mamyalynne]

You have two clear choices JJ, let her come or tell her you aren't up to having a house guest.

[Cloverjo]

I agree with everyone else. Say you're not up to it and value your own space and company.
A week is far too long to put someone up, especially when she's invited herself.

[jennyjoan]

friend thinks nothing of doing it where she lives and truly can't understand why I can't do it. I don't know why she comes cos I don't talk, don't cook, and don't go out ie socially. Christ I thought she would have taken the hint of the last time.

[Cloverjo]

People like that don't take hints. You have to be blunt.

[B00]

Again, seriously, why are you her friend? More importantly why is she yours?

[ummmm]

Maybe she thinks you want some company.

[jennyjoan]

Maybe but she knows I can have all the company I want from friends who live here.

I was a person who partied for the last 30 years but I stopped about 8 years ago and you know it affected most of my frien

[SherryBea]

When I didn't want to do something I used to dither and make up excuses. Now I just say no that is not possible. Rarely does anyone ask 'why', but if they do I just say oh sorry I've made other plans. She will take the hint if no means no.

[jennyjoan]

didn't mean to submit that as I was looking over it.

Anyway I have loads of friends - really do - but because I have become a little reclusive - they don't ask me to go out - either socially or bus runs to here and there. That;s the way I want it. Sad person I am now. Just me and the dog.