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I'm Quite Grumpy

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2sp_ | 15:27 Thu 14th Aug 2014 | ChatterBank
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An older female relative (mentioning no names...) is getting on my nerves.

Keeps promising the kids that she'll come visit or take them for a walk etc and never shows up. I'm then stuck with having to explain to the kids what has happened and dealing with any tears (they are 2 and 4).

And if she does come over, I feel she undermines my parenting in a kind of passive aggressive manner. If I tell the kids off for something, she will interfere and try to cover for them or distract them away from me with a treat of some sort. Almost like she is trying to protect them from their horrible mother (me)...

Not really looking for answers, as I know that the most obvious one is to just tell her but that's really not an option. Just wanted a bit of sympathy and some other tales of interfering "older female relatives"...
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I had to move to another town to get away from my first mother-in-law but I did invite them to stay for Christmas..... Little G was three, just the age for being excited about Father Christmas.... early on Christmas morning I heard noises from downstairs.....MIL had taken junior downstairs and together they had opened all his presents... Her excuse?.....I...
16:37 Thu 14th Aug 2014
Sending lots of sympathy, I'd hate to have a female rellie like that. My mum has on occasion crossed the line but I'm not shy in telling someone to back off and she does a bit sharpish, it's usually been after I've told the kids off for being naughty and she's tried to be the good guy, she needed reminding that where I told my kids off, she would have probably clattered me around the earhole for the same behavior.
my mum never interfered in our childrearing, and as I recall her mum didn't either despite our pitiful pleas to her that we were being maltreated by her daughter...
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Thank you rocky.

I would usually have no problem telling someone to back off, but family politics are involved in this case!

Just wanted to let off steam!
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I hadn't thought about that before, jno. That there are some cases where relatives should interfere.

Must have been terrible to be asking for help and not getting any.
Well I guess as one gets older one forgets how time flies, and finds plenty in life to feel quarrelsome about. But the advantage is you get the kids on your side when you sympathise with the kids after the parent tells them off.

I suspect you are experiencing a common phenomenon, but you can get your own back doing it to others when you get to that age ;-)
I had to move to another town to get away from my first mother-in-law but I did invite them to stay for Christmas.....

Little G was three, just the age for being excited about Father Christmas.... early on Christmas morning I heard noises from downstairs.....MIL had taken junior downstairs and together they had opened all his presents...
Her excuse?.....I thought you'd like a lie in so we didn't disturb you....☺
She rarely does it now fortunately, it does make me laugh though when she really wants to say something but can't, you can actually see her holding it in, she then gets 'the look' from me that says "I dare you" lol.
nah, we weren't really, 2sp, we just thought being forbidden ice cream until tomorrow was child cruelty. Fortunately, grandma had been through that nonsense herself.

But you're right... sometimes interference is called for. It's distressing to read of people worried about how their children are bringing up their own children.
Wow gness, I'd have hit the flaming roof. Did you put something awful in her dinner to give her the trots ;)
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That's really bad, gness. I would have been furious. You get very few moments like Christmas morning with your kids before they are all grown up and the magic is gone.

I'm really envious of your "look" skills, rocky!
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OG, I'm sure all new parents swear never to make the mistakes their own did with them. So we just make a whole pile of different ones.
I have it down to a fine art sp, even the dog knows what I mean with "the look"
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I've been practising my "look" on Mr P for years now. Problem is that he's not very good at reading my meaning. Hence the two children...
They came the following year so I took all the door handles off before I went to bed.....I was woken up by the noise of her trying to open the door with scissors.....she never did learn and according to the ex MrG...."she means well"...

She broke into my house once to check that the sheets on our bed were clean.....and left a casserole in the oven so he had something good to eat.....☺
***, she sounds like a right mare.
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I take it all back, gness wins the prize for most overbearing OFR (older female relative).

Wowzers.
Gosh, I only said *** hell.
That's awful, gness- opening the presents! Cheeky mare. She wouldn't have been invited back to mine...:-\
my "older female relative with added family politics" is coming round for tea tonight. ERRGGHH
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Arsenic souffle, black cat??

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