Access to my children

[Twizzy92631]

I have left my partner and now he is refusing to share access to the children. What can I do?

[albaqwerty]

see a lawyer ASAP

[EDDIE51]

Try to work something out with him. Once the lawyers get in on this it will cost a fortune. If you have just walked out on him and the kids he needs to know he can trust you again even just to see the children. IF this goes to court the main concern will be the welfare of the children. As you have walked out that will go against you.

[daffy654]

What country do you live in? It could make a difference to advice given as the laws concerning this differ from country to country.

[ummmm]

Wouldn't that depend on the reasons for walking out, Eddie?

[daffy654]

The reason would definitely matter. Sometimes women have to leave for their own safety (knowing the ex won't hurt the kids).

[Twizzy92631]

I want to share the children as he is a wonderful dad, just a crap partner. We are kind of sharing but I am not seeing them as much as I need and want and it is so hard at the moment. Thank you for your advise and messages, keep them coming please! x

[Twizzy92631]

I live in the UK

[Twizzy92631]

I havent walked out on the children there are my life but he is a highly intelligent and manipulative person

[mazie]

I hope you don't mind me asking Twizzy but how old are the children? and what do they think about not seeing you?

[10ClarionSt]

If you want access, you may have to go to the Family Court. How long have you been separated? Is there any history of police involvement? The court would expect that you have tried to make arrangements before any legal process. I think a solicitor would advise that you go through mitigation. If your ex won't do this, then you will have to go to court and he will have to show good reason why you shouldn't have access, e.g. negligence, mis-treatment, etc.

However, legal fees are high. A consultation and just one court appearance could cost the best part of £2,500, without legal aid. Bear in mind that legal aid for most people will cease next April unless the claimant is a victim of violence.

You could go to the CAB, who will advise. Make sure you keep ALL correspondence and note down dates and times of any contact you have with him, and write down what he says.

[Twizzy92631]

Thank you to all who have replied to my post. The children are 3 and 5, they seem confused that their father is not willing to share them with me and my eldest said she wants to stay with us both. But their father is refusing as I think he wanted me to ride out the rough until we came to the smooth (that would never happen though!) I have been in contact with solicitors but the earliest appointment I could get is in November. I can not wait that long (but may have to) I just want what is best for the children and would accept their wishes to go between the two of us. I have only moved to the end of the road so I still see the children daily, but this doesnt seem to be enough for the ex partner. The Police have been involved as he threatened me when I said I was taking the children with me. The Police visited and stayed with us for 2 and a half hours and stated to my ex partner that he is not being fair and should think about what is best for our children and to not compare us to others! x

[lcg]

go to a different solicitor. it is rubbish that you can't get an appointment earlier than november.

[Smowball]

Totally agree with lcg76. you can get an appointment with most solicitors within a week, easily.

[Twizzy92631]

I have been advised to go to a solictior whose speciality is family law. I have contacted so many in and around my local area but to no avail! Thank you all again for your responses