Why do I feel so guilty

[whatwhat]

Im ruining my relationship with my 7 year old boy. Every thing he asks for I feel so guilty that I let him have it. I know being a parent means feeling guilty, but how comes everyone else seems to know where to draw the line. If he asks for something, that I don't want to do, I feel that the only reason I'm saying no is because I don't want to do it, then I give in to him. But then what he wanted in the first place isn't enjoyable because it's tarred with me saying no in the first place.
I feel like he is becoming spoilt, because I always give in, but neither of us end up happy with what has happened, and then I feel guilty again.
I know I'm the adult in this relationship, but I don't know how to do it.
Does anyone else feel like this

[cazzz1975]

Its natural to feel guilty, but saying no will not destroy his life, you can use this opportunity to teach him about the cost of these things and to appreciate the stuff he has more.

[Old_Geezer]

Don't mean to critisise but it is the role of the parent to set boundaries and ensure they are kept to, which will include giving your son the realisation that you can't have everything you want in life, and even those you may have, you may have to wait for. Know in advance what boundaries you set and why then you won't be confused about why you are saying, "No". Aside from that, being a parent before being a friend come with the job description, just have to accept it really. Swallow hard and carry on as if it isn't affecting you. Project the image that you are a strong adult that be relied on to know & insist on the right thing.

[Sheenamf]

It's not too late too change but you may have a few stamped feet at first. It's worth it and so are both of you. He'll have some hard lessons to learn later in life if you don't do something about it now. Set some small targets for both of you and when you have achieved those set some new ones. And don't forget to reward good behaviour. Just remember you don't want to be a doormat for the rest of your life

[jomifl]

It's better that he learns the harsh lessonsof life from you in a caring environment than later on when it will be more difficult and may have more serious consequences.

[AliceTickband]

you always have to remember that a parents' place is in the wrong. you are not in this to win a popularity contest. your job as a parent is to prepare your child to live in this world independently, because you will not always be there. a child is better with boundaries - they know how far they can go. and you should stick to any boundaries you set. if A happens then B always follows i.e. if A is good behaviour on your child's part then B should be a positive re-enforcement of that behaviour from you and conversely if A is bad behaviour on his/her part then B is some sort of sanction imposed on him/her by you.

you will never get it right every time, no-one does. you just do what is best for your child.

a pair of trainers is just as good as a pair of nike trainers!

[Smowball]

I would try and nip it in the bud as the older they get, the harder it will be.

[murraymints]

agree with smow..aside..how are you Smow ?..we have all been a wee bit worried for you..

[sfby]

One of my wife's friends has a 55-year old husband who sulks when he doesn't get his own way - I'm sure she wishes HIS mother had said "No" a few more times!!