birth certificate in The AnswerBank: Parenting

Putting someone on a birth certificate is a big deal. Plus Im almost sure you can't be on the certificate unless you are a parent, so he would have to adopt your son. I wouldn't just put your boyfriend on it because he's been around. How long has he been your boyfriend?? And how serious are you? The worst thing for a child is to hop from step parent to step parent,..or boyfriend to boyfriend. Be the mother, and be a solid stable mother by watching who gets close to your son, and the type of relationship he sees go on between you and your gentleman friend. It sounds like he is a good guy, but you have to be extra careful because your son could be the most effected in the long run.

tobyjug

It should be the biological father, but what they don't know....... I guess It's up to you. Don't forget if the bio-father ever wants in, or your son ever wants to know who his real dad was it could cause legal headaches... looks like "father- unknown" may be the best bet as this makes it difficult to trace without your help...

mkbabe

Question Author

I been with my bf since i was 2 months preg and now my sons 11 weeks old,i gave the father a choice to be put him on the birth certificate but he didnt turn up,he was a bully and not worth bein a dad but he still had dat choice,my bf has been a brill dad and loves our boy so much,well our 1st option was adoption but i wanna try the proper way,but i not too sure wat 2 do.

CheekyChops

I'm sorry but I don't think you should make a decision this big until you have been together a while longer. You and your bf have been together less than a year and are probably still at that rose-coloured romantic stage.

I'm sure you do love each other and intend to be together for the rest of your lives and if that is the case, it won't hurt to wait another 12mths or so, just to be sure.

dancealot13

I can't agree more with CheekyChops.

Mkbabe- Really think about this one. How long were you with the biological father?

Mads

Personally speaking you should put the real father's name on the birth certificate, however, if you weren't married and he doesn't want to know, didn't turn up etc...then, to be fair to your child, you should leave the father's name OFF the birth certificate.

Please, for the sake of your child, do not put your current boyfriends name on the b/certificate. Should you split up in the future this will be very unfair on your child in future years. Maybe they'll want to trace their father and this would lead to all sorts of hurt for your child and others. It's really not fair to do that.

Mads

Continued from previous...

My situation at the moment is this...

My fiance and I have been together 5 years and have a 2� year old. He had to come with me to the Registrars for his name to be included on her b/certificate. Our daughter took my surname and had his surname as another middle name. Moving on from this...Just in January, my Fiance received a letter from the CSA to say that he was alledged to be the father of a child of 11 years!! He is currently going along with requests from the CSA to have a DNA test done to determine if he really is this childs father. We're awaiting this test at the moment. However, in my interest I decided to look into things...and I bought a copy of this childs birth certificate (very easy to do!). I expected the father's name to be missing from the certficate but to my surprise another man's name is on it.

So...as this couple weren't married, the named father would have had to be there to register the birth, with the mother.

As things stand at the moment...we don't know why have nearly 12 years suddenly this woman is saying my Fiance is her child's father and trying to claim from him through the CSA. If he is, he's happy to pay his way etc...but the question then to be asked is, what about the name father on the b/certificate? Does he know he's not the father. Does this poor guy think he's got a lovely 12 year old daughter? Is he paying for her aswell?

Someone will be very hurt by this...no doubt the little girl involved.

My daughter is thought by my Fiance's family to be the first grandchild...how wrong could this be...not to mention my daughter may have an older half sister.

Please forgive me for rambling on so long, but please think carefully of the consequences for your child in the future.

Good luck to you all and best wishes...

mimififi

http://www.rbkc.gov.uk/BirthsDeathsAndMarriages/Births/d efault.asp#who

try this link.

It explains that if you are married to the father at time of baby's birth then either of you can register the baby.

if you are unmarried at the time of the baby's birth then only the mother is the qualified informant. If the father wants to be on the birth cert then he has to accompanie the mother to do so.

however, the last paragraph says that someone else could be the informant in special circumstances contact your registry office to find out.

However, it does not mention someone saying they are the father when really they are not. Remember that the birth cert is a legal document and lying on a legal document in the UK, or any K for that matter could be considered illegal and thus elligible for prosecution.

Phone your registery office and ask them is the best bet. Lying about it would be really wrong. Laws are generally there to protect us.

Applying for a parental responsibility application will probably be better for you, then legally your BF will have the same rights as a married father.

kitten_uk2

Hi mkbabe, your question is the same as my situation was, i met my fiance when i was 2 months gone aswell, he is a great father to my son, and he is on the birth certificate as his dad, the biological father wanted nothing to do with him or me, so we did what was right at the time, so i would say talk with your boyfriend, taking on a kid is a big responseability and he shouldnt go into it likely, its for life.

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