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My relationship with my eldest son???

My eldest son and i have always struggled to get on,i had to bring my sons up alone from the age of 10 and 12,to get to the point my oldest has done really well, we dont have a mother and son relationship, he is now living in ireland with his girlfriend, to cut to the quick, just txt him my new mobile number, forgot to say who it was, he replied saying hello, after i told him it was mum no reply, sent another still no reply,i havent done anything wrong havent heard from him for weeks, but my sister is close to him, and i wonder if she has spoken to him in the the last few weeks,because i said that i might as well have been on planet mars, when he lived near to me, she doesnt engage her brain and if she has said something i will be so angry!!!!

puddicat Thurs 02/10/08 21:45

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pug100
Fri 03/10/08
09:10

You aren't alone in this, many people find their kids just don't phone them these days

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7648334.st m

mamatwo
Fri 03/10/08
09:46

I had an awfull relationship with my parents I was a right inconsiderate little sod never phoning or remembering b'days etc. it wasn't intentional it was just that i had such a lot of other things going on in my life. but the whole time they were there for me and we are now all really close. just bear with it, keep sending texts occasionally to show him your there and thinking about him and remember if your sister did say anything it was prob with the best intentions xx

bednobs
Fri 03/10/08
10:44

Also, its a well known incontrovertible fact that men dont reply to texts as quickly as youd like them to.

puddicat
Fri 03/10/08
11:06

Question Author

thanks for the reassurance bedknobs,but my son is 28 not a young adult, he should no better, my sister sometimes opens her mouth without thinking, she might have spoken to him about me,and how i felt when he lived near to me, and never came across to offer to take my shopping and alike,she has a better relationship with him, she has been across to see before me, he said that she basically invited herself, and she mouthed off to me about his girlfriend on the fone,i didnt say a word to my son, he said things about her children,engaged my brain and didnt say anything,to both of them,i used to feel quite resentful of her,thought she was trying to take my place,dont feel like that now, but i am due to go down to see her, at the end of the month,but i am trying to keep calm,want to ring her and ask if she has spoken to him, if she has theres no way i am going,does she realise whats she has done if she has???

onlyme26
Sun 05/10/08
11:47

Hello

is the the son with the g/f you dislike? i only ask because if it is maybe its more to do with her???

i do feel for you, my daughter is 7 and dotes on me!! she is a mummys girl through and through, we are the bestest of friends and my biggest fear is not having that closeness when she is older, we talk about everything and im scared of that fading as she gets older,

then i look at it another way, i have my own family now and dont visit my mum and dad that often??

with working, looking after my daughter and a baby on the way, i am just to busy, and i try to get down as much as poss,

maybe no one has said anything to him maybe he is just busy, maybe he ran out of credit,

i wouldnt take to much offence to be honest, he is 28 he prob has loads going on in his life, im sure he knows you are there if he needs you

good luck xxx

puddicat
Sun 05/10/08
19:44

Question Author

no this is my oldest son, i finally realise he is his fathers son!!!

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