Grrrr! Feeling fed up.

[MissCommando]

I don't really like posting too much about my personal life on here but I'm really fed up tonight. My OH is disabled which I can just about cope with. A few weeks ago, he went 'funny', his speech was slurred and his vision was all over the place. I had to ring an ambulance in the night and it was really frightening. They've just discovered he has a cyst in his brain.

Since then, he has days where he feels funny (normally before bed) and I end up feeling on edge, worrying incase it happens again.
His consultant doesn't want to see him until his appt in a couple of months.

We were out having a drink in a cafe earlier and he turned his head and went all giddy. Wasn't really safe driving home as his eyes were funny. I don't drive and don't want to as I'm petrified.

Since then, he can talk ok but his eyes look like he's been drinking and he doesn't feel right. He has to cut his food up small as he's been having issues swallowing.

Honestly, it's one thing after another. His parents stopped by to drop something off and his dad asked him if he'd taken any medication or not eaten enough, they can't seem to accept that it could be the cyst making him like this. They were going out for a meal with their friends, made me feel envious as they are double his age so I feel like life is unfair on him. There is nothing I can do to make things better.

I love my husband to absolute pieces but I end up snapping at him as I get so stressed and just want to be able to enjoy a bit of 'normality'. Worried incase they take his driving license away from him, worried as his work are being nasty so they may try and get rid of him and just generally worried for the future.

He knows I am typing an 'essay', so he will probably come on here to read what I've put. This isn't a question, just a moan.

[mojay]

Oh how I feel for you, not that I know what to say that will help.
But my first thoughts are that maybe at the moment he shouldn't be driving for the safety of you both.
And secondly perhaps his Doc could sign him off sick until you have more feedback from the consultant.
I can feel your anxiety and concern and hope you can be strong enough to get through this time.

Please stay in touch and let us know how things are going xx

[Ann]

O poor you MissC - I feel so sorry for you and your Hubby, it must be awful and quite frightening. One good thing to latch on to is that his consultant doesn't feel the need to see him for another 2 months, surely if he was that concerned he would be booking him in asap. However its not good for him and you to suffer these "funny turns" - I bet you feel really unsafe going anywhere. I would be ringing my GP to see if he can pull a few strings to get a consultants appointment sooner than in 2 months time. I wish you both well. Totally sympathise with you re: the driving, I don't drive either and I rely on my Hubby so much to drive me everywhere............

[grasscarp]

Although you don't like the idea at the moment it might come to the point you need to be the driver. Have you had a lesson? I too have a disabled husband. He has had strokes in the past. He is still ok to drive up till now. I drive also and would not like to be restricted to public transport. Hope you can get appointment brought forward a bit for the consultant.

[Ann]

I think MissC is like me - too terrified to drive! I think all drivers must have nerves of steel to drive on today's roads! I'm bad enough as a passenger ....:(

[grasscarp]

Strangely being in control of the car is not half as scary as not being in control! I hate being driven by some drivers but always enjoy my own driving, apart from traffic jams.

[MissCommando]

You're right Ann lol, it's terrifying. I would need hypnotherapy before I even thought about having a lesson. Sat in my husband's car once before and bricked myself when it went forward. I don't like the power in the car, I always used to think a car would be like a go kart, when as soon as you took your foot off the peddle, it stopped.
I know it would make life easier if I drove but I have a genuine phobia and whenever I see a car accident, I always worry that it could be me one day.

[mojay]

yes grasscarp- I know that feeling - my OH had always preferred to do the driving. He died suddenly in Oct '09 and I decided that I needed to have the independence of a motor - so I'm driving again too.

[grasscarp]

Good for you moray. One of my daughters had to take 3 tests before she passed, but is now a very safe and considerate driver.

[grasscarp]

Sorry mojay. Doing this on iPod in bed. Will give up now for the night.

[MissCommando]

mojay, sorry to hear about your husband. My nan learnt to drive in her 50s when my Grandad had a terminal brain tumour and it's the best thing she's ever done.

To be honest, the driving thing isn't my biggest concern at the moment. I am worried about the other stuff. If he does have his license taken away, I will have to get some help to get over the phobia.

Thanks for comments and I know there are people out there with much bigger problems but this is my life and I'm just finding it a little hard at the moment.

[Mamyalynne]

MissC anyone in your situation would be feeling the stress, so firstly don't think you are out of order, as regards snapping and then feeling guilty - we have all done that, it is human. Fear of the unknown plays a big part too, I won't regale you with my experiences but is hard caring and standing by those we love.

Be kind to yourself and as others have said, maybe get back on to the Consultants secretary re these episodes.

[MissCommando]

Thanks mamya.

Right, maybe the consultant doesn't think the cyst caused the 1st bad episode. The docs wrote to consultant letting him know about the cyst. The Consultant got his secretary to ring my husband and said they'll be more concerned if it grows. Consultant doesn't know about any of symptoms since.
I read online about the cyst and it says it can affect vision/vertigo.

I've been like a bag of nerves the last couple of weeks.

[Stevesw]

Dont know what to say but hang in there hon, there may be groups you can contact that offer help and support from people in similar situations. Good luck.

[gness]

MissC. As Mamy said caring for and standing by someone we love is hard and it`s because we love that person that makes it even harder.
Your OH`s illness will of course tell on you too and you need to get all the help and answers you can.
We had a rule when my OH was ill. However bad things were we made it as good as it could possibly be. If that meant pushing doctors and consultants so be it. It does seem a long time until your appointment and too long for you to be worrying. See your G.P. if you think it will help. You need to be well to do the caring.
Don`t think you are doing nothing to help. You are with him and that matters as he must be scared too.
Take care.x

[Jennywren200]

Two months seems a long time to wait when this condition is affecting both your lives at the moment, not to mention the difficulties with your husband's job. Hope you can get things moving faster for your peace of mind.