I bumped into an old flame on Saturday and found I still had butterflies in my stomach when he spoke to me. Our relationship ended on bad terms a few years ago. We seemed to have gotten on okay the other night but that was just a chance meeting. He's asked me to meet him for a drink. Should I go? If you were in a relationship that ended quite badly and you hadn't seen them for a few years would you go? Can a past relationship be rekindled?
katieprice70 Mon 10/11/08 09:23
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In a word - No. That's just my opinion though, based on experience. Sorry, but it just goes wrong again, once it's broke, etc. If you do try tho, good luck, if you have nothing to lose!
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Yes, I don't see why not.
Maybe you've both changed a bit, and you won't clash so much now.
And if you still have feelings for each other, you've both seen once how things can go wrong, which could make you more determined to get it right this time.
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I know if it were me, & he still gave me the old butterflies in the stomach, I would go for a drink.
I have tried to rekindle a relationship, but my heart wasn't really in it & to be honest I didn't try as hard as I should have - it failed.
But, you never know, like JJ said you may both have changed & learnt from your past mistakes. Go for a drink & see. If nothing else, you will put that bad ending behind you & part this time on better terms.
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"If nothing else, you will put that bad ending behind you & part this time on better terms."
That's a really good point, Salla.
Well said.
x
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Only if you realised why things went wrong the first time and change them.
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I am with someone that I went out with first years ago but we were very young then and it ended ok. But there is also anothere x I would never ever get back with and I can say I still care alot about him but hate him also. I just think that sometimes an ex is an ex for a reason but at end of day its your call.
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and it also depends why it ended I spose, if you or he cheated then never but if it was a silly thing then that can be worked on. I know someone who recently got back with my ex when he had cheated on her with me and had slept with other girls too behind her back but she has still got back with him basically because no one else is that much of a mug to take him back
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I suppose my reply to you sounds very negative, having read the other replies on here. The fact that you are both available comes into it as well, as I said before if you have nothing to lose then maybe it could work this time round. It seems like I'm backtracking but Salla made a good point about healing the bad terms you parted on.
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I say that from experience - when my husband & I first parted - it was on very bad terms; couldn;t have been much worse in fact. However after a while he did persuade me to give things another go as he had "learned his lesson". He had indeed.
He did put his all into trying to make amends & to make things work - like I said, my heart wasn't really in it and I eventually called time for good. However our 2nd parting was much more amicable; we both admitted & learned from our mistakes and we have remained friends ever since.
Parting on bad terms is never very nice, particularly if there are children involved. I hate to fall out with people, even those that once did me wrong, so in a big respect I am glad we did try one more time.
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Question Author
Thanks for the positive response. My ex had a fling with a friend of mine. He said at the time he was drunk and I wasn't giving him enough attention. I have a kid from a previous relationship and can't go out and mix with the crowd every weekend, he got fed up with going it alone (his words) and ended up in bed with someone else. I don't know if I can ever forgive that?
He has always had a place in my heart but my head keeps going back to that awful night when I found out what he'd done :o(
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well I;m sorry but I couldnt ever forgive that espcially with your mate and I hope she isnt a mate anymore either. Drink is no excuse
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Dont see why not.
I have done this on several ocassions and it never did any harm.As long as you both realise that theres probably no future in it.
Why not seek comfort with or the company of one you know well ?
Go for it but watch you dont get hurt .
D T H ?¿
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I would be remembering how it ended last time to be honest.
I did this with my ex husband and after being back with him a short time very quickly realised why he was my EX !!!
Also remember how far you have come without him too.
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I've just been out to lunch with my ex. If it wasn't for the fact that I started seeing someone else I'd go back with him.
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Exes are often tempting - they are just so 'comfortable'.
But, there's usually a good reason they are exes.
I would certainly meet up with him for a drink, but think carefully about the getting back with him. If he cheated on you with a friend....mmmm....
But then I got back with someone who had been violent towards me, so who am I to give advice eh? Forgive katie, but don't forget.
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Doc..Spock
Mon 10/11/08
09:40 i THINK sex IS THE MOTIVE HERE. oooooooHH
id have to agree with the doc here actually , now that a bit of time has passed with you and your ex its easier to look back and just see the good times so if yous had a good sex life it would be easy to think that yous could meet up and have abit of a session, but that would only work if you were both in the same place and knew wher you both stood.
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i think alot of people have been in this situation but i think it just serves to stir up old feelings. i dont know how you can be friendly to someone who cheated on you with a friend, who cares about parting on bad terms, sounds like he desreved it. Getting back with him even temprarily is dangerous - he's not only man in the world is he?!?
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Question Author
After speaking to him on the phone for 2 hours I've decided not to go for a drink with him after all. An ex is an ex for a reason. Thanks for all your input though.
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I think your making the right decision there katie as you would be letting yourself in for a whole lot of heartbreak.
It sounds to me that you havent forgave him for what he did and I bet that would come between you.
I have recently had to move back in with my parents as I was left bringing up a child with no help at all from the father (waste of space moved abroad to get out of paying child maintenance) and also getting over another failed relationship (don't ask but the pig left me for our babysitter!!!).
Second thoughts katie don't take any advice from me as I have been sh*t on from a great height!!!
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But him being an ex doesn't mean that you can't fix the reason that led him to being an ex.
If your heart still loves him, give him another try, you can't afford to loose him just like that?
To your question.
BIG YES.
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