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I have been with my BF for about 5 - 6 months and we had a chat the other night, we said that if either of us met anyone else or slept with anyone else we should just be honest with each other about it.
We spend pretty much every day together and after thinking about it now, he obviously does not want to commit. I feel like I deserve more, he says that I would have a lot to offer to someone. I would miss him a lot if I didnt see him, I think thats what I am most worried about. Should I waste my time with this when as soon as he meets someone he would go off with them. I'm confused!!!

SazzyC0 Mon 06/10/08 10:35

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catcuddler
Mon 06/10/08
12:47

i have been in an open relationship for almost 7 years and its works amazingly we are more in love now than ever and plan to be together forever.the reason it works tho is that we both want it.we talked in length about it before we went ahead with it and after the first occasion we both made sure we were happy with it and there was no jealousy.as someone said in an earlier post sorry cant remember who it will only work if you both want it.maybe your partner means he wasnt to sleep with someone else and not you.i wonder if he would approve of you doing it.an open relationship can be amazing exciting fulfilling but its not for every1.talk to your partner and tell him how it makes you feel.tell him you got carried away while you were drunk and now you have thought about it its not for you.if he cant accept this maybe he isnt the one for you
hope you get what you want in the future
xxx

SazzyC0
Mon 06/10/08
12:51

Question Author

If you love each other so much why would you want to go with anyone else???

I was in an open relationship previously for about 3 years and ended up getting very hurt. I was fine with it then but obviously I don't want to have to put myself in that position again.
If this is bothering me already before he has even done anything I think I just need to tell him. I will do later. Thanx.

catcuddler
Mon 06/10/08
13:32

we do it because we feel happy with it and its just fun and friendship.emotionally we are 100% exclusive.i know its hard for some people to understand.we dont feel any jealousy and are happy for the other person to have fun with other people.love doesnt always mean monogamy its different for every1.if either one of us said no more we would stop it instantly

SazzyC0
Mon 06/10/08
13:40

Question Author

Personally I find that I don't even want to look at anyone else when I am really into someone. I do understand the way it must work for you both but I don't think I could be with someone for 7 years in that way. Do you not ever think you want a bit more, progression as it were? I think it's excellent that it does work for you don't get me wrong. I am just not sure I want that, which is exactly why I am asking for advice on here really!

catcuddler
Mon 06/10/08
16:04

thanks for being non judgemental as lots of people are.as i said before there may come a time when we decide its not for us anymore but at the moment it works well.we dont plan to have any children although if we were planning them it may be different as it may be difficult.i'm very happy with my situation as is my partner but your obviously not.tell your partner you want to be the only one in his life or not in his life at all.although i am attracted to other people and have intimate encounters with them(soz for sounding snobby just tryna keep it clean sounding)i still look at my partner and think wow your mine and feel a rush of love.
just be honest with your partner and say open relationships are fine for other people but not for me.surely its more important that he has you exclusively than have other people and not have you.good luck
xx

Nightfold
Mon 06/10/08
21:23

Leave him sazzy hes not worth the worry or the pain if he treats you like that. You deserve someone who will treat you right. Leave him and find the man for you as hard as that might be. I hope it works out.

All the best.
xx

bms
Tue 07/10/08
13:17

The two of you AGREED WITH THIS STATEMENT, what if thinks the same way as you do about him? To me it seems like you are against your agreement.
Try talking about it now ans see what he'll say.

SazzyC0
Tue 07/10/08
13:41

Question Author

I tried last night, just didnt seem like any right time to bring it up.

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