Every woman that me (and my friend) meets claim to have been beaten by their former husbands or boyfriends. Are there really that many men around who do this sort of thing or are these women psycho loonies with a penchant for lies or exaggeration?
RAGGY ROMAN Thurs 03/07/08 14:54
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The UK statistics state 1 in 4 women have been beaten by their husbands - this does not include boyfriends.
One man could have many wives and / or girlfriends in his lifetime and beat them all, so it would not be right to say a quarter of men are wife beaters.
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well you have to keep them in their place somehow.
loggy runs off faster than greased lightning,
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I'm sure most men have received a clout off their partners too. But thats just comedy isnt it?
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There are lots about but there are probably as many men if not more that are beaten by their girlfriends, its just that they never speak up as they think they must be weak if they let a girl beat them. I find girls that hit men are just gutless and deserve to be hit back without playing the I’m a girl card.
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Question Author
Booldawg,
I received a nasty clout from behind once after politely rejecting a "ladies" advances, it didn't feel very funny at the time. (I didn't retaliate).
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Logic thats terrible!
And Raggy...Every woman is quite extreme but it is very common,
My Grandad, My dad and my auntys husband all beat their partners and a close friend of mine has had an abusive boyfriend so there are alot of guys that do it!!
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Noknowledge i know a guy exactly like that! Was my auntys fella for years, the legs and arms in casts never put off the women he had affairs with even when they ended up in casts themselves!
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Question Author
lubecki - Perhaps its we don't meet that many!!
4getmenot - I tend to agree with you. Is it therefore acceptable for a man to retaliate or should he just stand there and take it?
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Not retaliate but leave! If someone hit me i wouldnt hit them back cus i dont agree with it but i wouldnt stick around for more!
And i dont get your comment raggy!
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I know someone who's girlfriend is always hitting him and making a show of herself outside pup and one day she satred biting and punching him so he'd had enough and knocked her out making her nose bleed. She got him arrested and he felt really bad about it the next day but I didnt blame him, how much can you take. Everybody is so proud when a woman who's been beaten finally stands up to her man so why not the other way round.
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lubecki i know it's terrible, I was merely making a jest about some thing that should not and need not happen, in my opinion anyway,
For example,why does the woman stay after the first beating, I just cannot comprehend how any female could tollerate this, in this day and age. and it's a sad kind of bloke that does it in my opinion.
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I competley agree!
But alot of people think they deserve it! Their partner makes them feel so down they tell them they are ugly and useless and that no one else would ever love them etc...and some people are so scared they dont see a way out my uncle treatened to kill my cousin if my aunty left him! Some people dont see they have any other option! Untill your in the situation its always easier said than done
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I've had the experience of many of my girlfriends saying they have been "beaten" by their ex's.
You soon find out how much they exaggerate, and whilst there are of course many true instances, there ARE also a lot of women who enjoy making up an interesting life to cover up for what their lives are really like. (They get most of these grand ideas from daytime tv)
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Raggy, no offence but you really are a mysoginist ********.
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I have no doubt there is total exaggeration in some cases. Ive seen women lay into their boyfriends and they are surprised and play the assaulted card after they get a slap back. Of course a bigger person never retaliates violently but people all have their breaking points.
However, there is probably at east one genuinely beaten woman for each looney harpy either making it up or bending the truth. You are less likely to know about the ones who were beaten. I met a lot of women through refuge and barely any of them were ever desperate to talk about their ordeal. I came here for advice when I was trying to get out of it and I received lots of help. People on here no more than my family, i think if real friends and family knew the whole truth my ex certainly wouldn't be able to walk.
ALl you do is offer support each time, how do you know who is genuine?
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My god..I had no idea the numbers were so high!!! Shocking!
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Ethel's statistics are right - which is a scary fact.
It happens alot more than I think people realise and still there is a lot that is unreported. I believe I also read that 2 women a week die at the hands of thier partners, also very scary. I have no idea on the stats for women beating men but I assume its higher than recorded because again people dont report it. Id hate to think what the really figure for both sexes is to be honest. Although back to your question Raggy I do know a couple of raving loony women who would definatley fit into the lies and exaggeration - which is disgusting!
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My first boyfriend started hitting me about 2 years into the 3 year relationship.
I know his father beat his mother on a regular basis and when he told me he couldn't guarantee that he'd ever hit me, I should have run a mile, but at the time, I was naive, had little confidence and came from a sheltered background.
He became violent after his friend moved in. This friend also had a history of woman beating and actually thought it was his right to give his girlfriend a slap when she "needed" one. I believe his friend told him he was an idiot for putting up with any cheek and should put me in my place.
So yes, there are alot of men out there, who think nothing of using physical violence towards women. It's probably on the increase now, as some young men are growing up, with absent fathers, who disrespect their mothers and are taking their lessons on how to interact with women from internet porn sites and their own delinquent friends.
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The only blow ever struck in my first marriage was by my wife. She belted me quite hard across the side of the head. My ear rang for a long time afterwards.
Some women certainly do lie about violence by their husband. It is an easy way to justify separation and few people ever question it.
I had a very good friend whose wife falsely claimed he had threatened her with a knife and took out an AVO against him. She was a really nasty and vindictive piece of work. He died of liver cancer a few years later and I honestly suspect she poisoned him.
I also know of cases where according to a neighbour the woman taunted her partner and invited him to beat her.
A female friend of mine lives next door a woman's shelter and she says it has been a real eye-opener. She says she understands why anyone would want to belt some of the horrible abusive women who have lived there.
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I know of at least two women – friends - who definitely falsely use the ‘my ex-boyfriend used to beat me up before I left him’. As said above, it is either to explain why they are no longer in the relationship, usually he has left them for someone else, or to play the sympathy vote, or just to be seen to have had one of ‘those’ experiences so that they can be the centre of comfort – and of course, gossip – for the genuine sufferers.
Incidentally both women say how brave they were to leave the relationship, but when drunk spurt out that they were dumped and that they really miss them and how wonderful the men were and that they’ll never love anyone like that again.
I do think there are a lot of women who will fake it for some ‘agony aunt’ points.
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