Son dilema

[cris r]

i can not sleep as i have a problem going round and round in my head.
My son his pregnant wife and our grandson live five hours drive away we dont get to see them as often as we would like but we do see them every eight weeks or so. My husband had been ill with depression after christmas he lost his job and felt very low he went down to visit in jan I went for a visit in april.
Since losing his job my husband has been fretting about money we have a fair amount put away for retirement but he still worries. I suppose he has always been this way and our sons rib him about this saying you can not take it with you ect ect.
Anyway my son phoned me three weeks go to ask if I could come down in june for a week to help with our grandchild as he is away on a course ( he is in the RAF ) and his wife is finding it hard to cope as she is due her second child at the end of June. He said he would pay for the train fare and if i needed to put the dogs in kennels he would take care of that. I told him as his father was not working it woud not be a problem that he would take care of them..
I managed to get the time of work no problem I took it out of my holiday quoter.
Then my husband found a new job which he starts tomorrow but it is an hour and a halfs drive away. I would not leave my dogs all day on there own
so I text my son to say that i would have to put them in the kennels and all hell broke loose. ( I have never experienced a text war )
He has text me this evening saying that dad should pay for the kennels and train fare as it is a family emergency. I told him I will pay for the train which is 150.00 if he will contribute for the dogs. I reminded him that he did offer in the first place and now I feel like a complete heel and it has totally upset me. This is not the first time. I did it last year when they had an emergency and my husband footed the bill then. We are suppose to be going down this weekend anyway for a visit and now I dont know if this is on. I would have phoned him but I was so upset ( crying ) and my husband would have heard the conversation which would have caused world war three. His text were awfull it was like emotional black mail saying we always talk about the money side of things when it comes down to visiting. But it is true it always cost about three hundred pounds as we have to put two dogs in kennels as well but he says we should not even consider that as it is our grandchild we are visiting.
I sent a last text telling him I we would pay it all and did he still want me to come down and help he sent a text back saying " In question" dont even know what that means. Could I have handled this differently any suggestions.
I am the the type of person who would fall over backwards to help anyone so this is why I am so up set x

[boxtops]

I agree with what everyone else has said - and how mean of your son to bully you like this, when really he should be pleased that his dad's not available because after a bad time, your husband's found a job. He sounds very selfish - you need to stand your ground.

[Smowball]

cris, you sounds very like me - anything to keep the peace. Just dont understand if he offered to pay for the kennels in the first place why he was then cross when you asked to take him up on that.